POTTERFIED Quotes & Quips
by SailorSilvanesti
Summary: As a joke, I asked many to give me some NON-HP Quotes, and then Potterfied them... they turned out quite hilarious, actually. ENJOY! Especially Snape & His Shackles of Doom... Review please!
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I do not Own Harry Potter, nor any of the listed Quotes.**

**Long Story Short: **Upon my Harry Potter FaceBook Page [The 7HP books are my 7 horcruxes, without them i wouldn't have a life], I asked fans for NON-HP Quotes that I would Potterfy in some way or another... This is the direct result...

ENJOY!

* * *

><p><strong>~*POTTERFIED QUOTES &amp; QUIPS*~<strong>

**~)0(~**

* * *

><p><strong><em><span>~*Chapter 1*~<span>_**

* * *

><p><strong>ORIGINAL QUOTE:<strong>

**"I take them up like the male and female**

**paper dolls and bang them together**

**at the hips like chips of flint as if to**

**strike sparks from them, I say**

**Do what you are going to do, and I will tell about it."**

—I go back to May 1937 by Sharon Olds

.

**POTTERIFIC:**

"I take them up like the male and female

paper dolls and bang them together

at the Head like the Disappointments they are. As if to

shake loose what little brains they possess, and I say

Do what you are going to do, and I will take 10 points from Gryffindor."

**—Snape**

~PF

To be fair, THAT ONE WAS FIREBOLTING HARD.

**~)0(~**

**ORIGINAL QUOTE:**

**"be prepared for the worst my love, for it lives next door to the best"**

**.**

**POTTERFIED:**

"Be prepared for the worst my love, for it lives next door to the best..." - James Potter, as he cradled his wife to his chest, then shoved her from him and into the Nursery where their infant son, Harry, lay crying.

~PF

Yep, pretty much whatever comes to mind...

**~)0(~**

**ORIGINAL QUOTE:**

**" Its Not About Winning, Its About The Will To Win."**

**.**

**POTTERFIED:**

"Its' Not About Winning, Its About The Will To Win... but, if you get the chance, knock those smug Slytherins off their brooms!" ~Oliver Wood, Keeper & Captain, Gryffindor Quidditch Team.

**~)0(~**

**ORIGINAL QUOTE:**

**" What in Thor's name is going on hear"**

.

**POTTERFIED:**

"What in Thor's name is going on here? Mr Davis, this is the Ladies Lavatory! OUT!" ~Professor Mcgonagall

~PF

**~)0(~**

**ORIGINAL QUOTE:**

**""Why are you wet?"**

**"I was in the swimming pool"**

**"I thought you were in the library?"**

**"So was the swimming pool"**

**- The Doctor and Amelia Pond"**

**.**

**POTTERFIED:**

Harry: "Why are you wet?"

Ron: "I was in the swimming pool..."

Hermione: "I didn't think we HAD a Swimming Pool, Ron..."

Dumbledore (_**singing**_): "Don't you know that here at Hogwarts...we've got a Hidden Swimming Pool...?"

_AVPM/S Reference_

~PF

**I WENT THERE.**

**~)0(~**

**ORIGINAL QUOTE:**

**"I'd rather be hated for who I am, than loved for who I'm not"**

**.**

**POTTERFIED:**

"I'd rather be hated for saving the world, than standing back and watching it all burn..." -Harry Potter.

**~)0(~**

**ORIGINAL QUOTE:**

**"About three things I was absolutely positive.**

**First, Edward was a vampire.**

**Second, there was a part of him-and I didn't know how dominant that might be- that thirsted for my blood.**

**And third, I was unconditionally and irrevocably in love with him."**

**.**

**_POTTERFICATION #1:_**

"About three things I was absolutely positive.

First, Draco was a Pure-Blood.

Second, there was a part of him-and I didn't know how dominant that might be- that hated me for my blood Status.

And third, I was unconditionally and irrevocably in love with him."

~Harry

_~)0(~_

**_POTTERFICATION #2: _**

"About three things I was absolutely positive.

First, Ron was an Idiot.

Second, there was a part of him-and I didn't know how dominant that might be- that I couldn't stand...namely that insipid creature attached to his arm 24/7...Lavender Brown.

And third, I was unconditionally and irrevocably in love with him."

~Hermione

~PF

I COULDN'T HELP MYSELF

**~)0(~**

**ORIGINAL QUOTE:**

**"I'm not a lesbian I just hate men"**

.

**POTTERFICATION:**

"I'm not prejudiced... I just hate Muggles and want them all to die Screaming..."

-Voldemort

~PF

**~)0(~**

**ORIGINAL QUOTE:**

**"Now get back to your room—if you can manage it without throwing yourself at someone else."**

**"Is that your subtle way of calling me a slut?"**

**.**

**POTTERFICATION:**

Hermione: "Now get back to your room—if you can manage it without throwing yourself at someone else."

Lavender Brown: "Is that your subtle way of calling me a slut?"

Hermione: "Exactly."

~PF

_Okay, not so much, but I think that needed to be left as it was..._

**~)0(~**

**ORIGINAL QUOTE:**

**"Well, well. Jack Sparrow, isn't it?"**

**"Captain Jack Sparrow, if you please, sir."**

**"Well, I don't see your ship, Captain."**

**"I'm in the market, as it were."**

.

**POTTERFIED:**

"Well, well. Ickle Potty, is it...?"

"Harry POTTER, if you please, Peeves."

"Well, I don't see your hair, POTTER...all pouffy and sticky-uppy..."

"Oh shut it, I know what you did in my Shampoo..."

~PF

_You should be SCARED._

**~)0(~**

**ORIGINAL QUOTE:**

**"That is why I have chosen my own particular profession, or rather created it, for I am the only one in the world" - Sherlock Holmes**

.

**POTTERFICATION:**

"That is why I am the only one in this most particular profession, or rather was created to be in it, for I am the only Chosen One in the world. though if you give me a hundred Volunteers and half an hour, I'm sure I could find another one, maybe two..."

- Harry Potter

~PF

**~)0(~**

**ORIGINAL QUOTE:**

**"What is it to-day, cocaine or morphine?"**

**-Dr Watson.**

**.**

**POTTERFICATION:**

Hermione: "What is it today, Felix Felicius or some 'Lucky' Talisman? You're going to have to tell him at some point, Harry..."

Harry: "When he's ready, Hermione, when he's ready..."

*pause*

Harry: "On the plus side, Hermione, this last match proves that as a goalie or a boyfriend, he's a real... 'KEEPER'!"

_*Recieves Whack*_

~PF

I saw this in my mind...had to make it happen.

**~)0(~**

**ORIGINAL QUOTE:**

**"And he woke up the next morning and he rolled over and realised... Dun dun dunnnn... She was his cousin."**

**Raj from TBBT**

**.**

**POTTERFICATION:**

"And I woke up the next morning and when I rolled over, I realised... Dun dun dunnnn... It was Fred!" **-George**

~PF

_Yes, yes I did just go there._ **IT CANNOT BE UNSEEN.**

**~)0(~**

**ORIGINAL QUOTE:**

**"If anything happens... Run."**

**.**

**POTTERFICATION:**

"If Snape brings out the Shackles, Harry... Run. Just...Run..."

-Pale, wide-eyed Draco

~PF

**~)0(~**

**ORIGINAL QUOTE:**

**"Don't blink. Blink and you're dead. Good luck"**

.

**POTTERFICATION:**

"Don't Break, Harry. Break and they're all Dead... If nothing else, I will save them all..." and he wished himself good luck inside his mind, before rounding the bend and facing Voldemort head on.

~PF

**~)0(~**

**ORIGINAL QUOTE:**

**"See, people see time as a strict progression from cause to effect, when in fact, it's a big ball of wibbly-wobbly, timey-wimey... stuff."**

**.**

**POTTERFICATION:**

Neville: "See, people see gillyweed as a rubbery, slime-like substance, when in fact, it's a big ball of wibbly-wobbly, snot-coloured jiggly jelly... stuff."

Harry: "...You know I now have to eat that, right?"

~PF

**~)0(~**

**ORIGINAL QUOTE:**

**"so raise your glass if you are wrong in all the right ways all my under dogs we will never be never be anything but loud and nitty gritty dirty little freaks - p!nk, raise your glass"**

**.**

**POTTERFICATION:**

_*Umbridge & Inquisitorial Squad burst into Room of Requiement*_

**Umbridge**: "WHAT is going on HERE?"

*_Smug_* **Harry**: Tell her, guys...

_**Dumbledore's Army theme Song Starts as the Students Serenade Umbridge:**_

"So raise your Wands if you are wrong,

in all the right ways,

All my DA Pals

We will never be, never be,

Anything but loyal

To Professor Dumble-dore

Rebellious little Freaks"

.

**Harry** (_winks at Umbridge_): SO SUCK IT!

.

~PF

Yeah, all I could think of, really...

ORIGINAL QUOTE:

**~)0(~**

**"Call me Willy"**

**- Transformer 2**

**.**

**POTTERFICATION:**

.

*_Stunned Silence_*

Hermione: "Poke your WHAT?"

Ron: "I said, 'Isn't it Chilly?'"

Hermione: "...Oh."

*_walks off_*

Ron: *_**phew**_*

~PF

**~)0(~**

**ORIGINAL QUOTE:**

**"asante sana squash banana wewe nugu mimi hapana"**

**-Rafiki, The Lion King**

.

**POTTERFICATION:**

"_Asante sana squash banana wewe nugu mimi hapana_!"

Hermione: "Neville, no offense, but I can see why you're failing Charms..."

~PF

**~)0(~**

**ORIGINAL QUOTE:**

**"When we get back, this is gonna make one great story. Yup... but... of course, not a single soul will ever believe me."**

**Tai Kamiya - Digimon Adventure**

.

**POTTERFICATION:**

"When we get back, this is gonna make one great story. Yup... but... of course, not a single soul will ever believe me." Harry beamed, turning back to wave farewell to Dumbledore...only to find the Professor already walking into the blinding white.

A train whistle blew, and with one blink, the station was gone...he was alive again.

~PF

**~)0(~**

**ORIGINAL QUOTE:**

**"Being a Digidestined means that sometimes you have to save the world, even if you're the one who caused the problem."**

**Kari Kamiya - Digimon The Movie**

**.**

POTTERFIED:

"Being Best Friends with the Bloody Chosen One means that sometimes you have to save the world, even if you're the one who caused the problem...which is not an admittance of anything..."

"Ron, we know it was you who put the Dementors in the Slytherin Common Room... and we're very proud of you!" said Fred, who -along with George- attempted to squeeze the life out of their baby brother with a giant bear hug...

That, to Ron, felt slightly more along the lines of being throttled by an overly affectionate Octopus...

~PF

**~)0(~**

**ORIGINAL QUOTE:**

**"Its a screwdriver, and its Sonic..."**

**The doctor**

.

**POTTERFICATION:**

"Its a Juice, and it's Poly..."

-Ron, shrugging at Snape's Question

~PF

**~)0(~**

**ORIGINAL QUOTE:**

**"I dreamed I was a butterfly, flitting around in the sky; then I awoke. Now I wonder: Am I a man who dreamt of being a butterfly, or am I a butterfly dreaming that I am a man?"**

**—Chuang Tzu**

.

**POTTERFICATION:**

"I dreamed I was a Seeker, flitting around in the sky; then I Fell off the bedrail and all the others were staring at me... Now I wonder: What on earth was I doing that was so interesting that they were taking pictures?"

-Harry

**~)0(~**

* * *

><p>THERE YOU ARE, ALL FINISHED...<p>

* * *

><p><strong>Review if you liked it!^^<strong>

~Phoenix Fire/SailorSilvanesti~


	2. Chapter 2: The Second Installment

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or Any of the Below Quotes.**

**Yes, I did it again, and there may be even more in future...**

* * *

><p><em><strong>~*Chapter 2*~<strong>_

* * *

><p><strong>ORIGINAL QUOTE:<strong>

**"_EXTERMINATE_!"**

**-Daleks-Doctor Who**

**.**

**POTTERFIED:**

*_High Pitched Scream_*

"**EXTERMINATE**! _Get it_! _**GET IT!**_" Ron screamed as the large spider came crawling over the couch in a seductive manner, he made it just over the end before he tripped, fell and clonked his head.

Fred and George were grounded for a month afterwards, never allowed to use their _'Baby Boggart in a Can!_' ever again...at least, not near Ron...

**~)0(~**

**ORIGINAL QUOTE:**

**"For you, a thousand times over."**

**-Khaled Hosseni, in The Kite Runner. **

**POTTERFIED:**

"For you, a thousand times over and more, Harry..." her eyes burned into his own. Another voice broke in, "Yeah, no dying alone now, y'hear? We'd get really lonely..."

Harry blinked back the tears in his eyes and leapt forwards, clinging to his two best friends as if it was the only thing holding him sane in this world gone mad...

~)0(~

**ORIGINAL QUOTE:**

**Kirk: Spock! **

**Spock: The ship... out of danger? **

**Kirk: Yes. **

**Spock: Don't grieve, Admiral. It is logical. The needs of the many outweigh... **

**Kirk: ...the needs of the few... **

**Spock: ...Or the one. I never took the Kobayashi Maru test until now. What do you think of my solution? **

**Spock: I have been and always shall be your friend. **

**[Holds up his hand in the Vulcan salute] **

**Spock: Live long and prosper. **

**POTTERFIED:**

**.**

Ron: Harry!

Harry: The school, everyone... are they-... are they out of danger? Are they safe?

Ron: Yes, yes Harry...you did good...

Harry: Don't cry, Ron. We -_gah_- we knew this would happen... The Prophecy said-...

Ron: ... _either must die at the hands of the other_...

Harry: ..._For neither can live while the other survives_. I…think maybe the jumping off the bridge thing was a bit much… but I thought he would fly. Too shocked, probably, but it worked… *_cough_*

Ron: But- but Harry, he's gone…you did it. Don't- _**please**_…

Harry: I have been and always shall be your friend. Don't cry, Ron…I shall see my parents again…

[_Hand reaching up to grip firm the arm that keeps his head resting in Ron's lap, amongst the Debris, and squeezes affectionately with the last of his strength.]_

Harry: I _will_ wait for You...

[_With the Blood drying on his clothing, Ron stands and carries back Harry's body, and the Sad News of Victory to those who waited within the Castle Walls_.]

**~)0(~**

**ORIGINAL QUOTE:**

**"if people were rain i was drizzle and she was a hurricane" - Looking for alaska**

**POTTERFIED:**

"If intellect was rain, I would be saturated...and *_she_*" Hermione pointed angrily across the room at Lavender Brown, "would probably bring an umbrella..."

~)0(~

**ORIGINAL QUOTE:**

**"You were young, and your heart was an open book, you used to say live and let live."**

**Guns n roses **

**POTTERFIED:**

"When we were Young, you poured your heart into a book..._and look where that got you_!" she screamed into a mirror, hacking at her hair in a haphazard fashion with dull-bladed scissors as tears streamed down her face in morbid silver streaks. Ginger hunks of hair littered the floor of the bathroom. "You used to say live and let live... you stupid, stupid creature!"

A broken laugh forced it's way out of her mouth at the irony, "Well now he's gone... isn't it ironic? And all you want to do is die..."

A spurt of crimson liquid on the mirror...and she was no more...

~)0(~

**ORIGINAL QUOTE:**

**"There once was a little boy, off discovering the world when nasty pain and fever stopped him in his track." -Kid's Nurofen Ad**

**POTTERFIED:**

"There once was a little boy, sleeping peacefully in his small bed, when nasty Fred and George startled him awake, for his beloved teddy was now a large, hairy spider that wished him to also tap dance."

George closed the book of Weasley Fairytales [ignoring the glare Ron was sending his way] and smiled at combined children about his ankles and sprawled on the various chairs, "_And the little Boy Never slept with the door unlocked again..._"

His smirk grew as he heard Ron mutter something akin to, "_Too bloody right he didn't..."_

And, for just a short moment, he felt Fred standing there with him, smile identical to his own, and George whispered, "_Nice to know you were listening_..."

The breeze held the faintest traces of laughter as it rustled through his crimson hair...

~)0(~

**ORIGINAL QUOTE:**

**"Thank you for nothing, you useless reptile."**

**Hiccup - How To Train Your Dragon**

**POTTERFIED:**

"Thank you for **NOTHING**, you useless Ginger!" he screamed at Ron's retreating back, fists clenched and breathing hard, misty puffs into the chilly air outside the tent. As his anger faded, he felt tears pooling in his eyes and looked to the locket in his hand...

Then threw it as hard as he could at a nearby cliff of harsh, unforgiving stone... _Why...?_ Why must such a _small thing_ tear them apart...?

He fell back into Hermione's comforting embrace, but never once did his eyes stray from the path Ron had taken...

He would return. He had to...

Harry needed him to.

**~)0(~**

**ORIGINAL QUOTE:**

**"Buck did not read the newspapers, or he would have known that trouble was brewing..."**

**POTTERFIED:**

"Vernon Dursley did not read the newspapers, simply perusing the stock market section, to see how the business faired that morning... A simplistic Muggle if ever there was one."

~)0(~

**ORIGINAL QUOTE:**

**"Mum, Mr dobac... Can we make bunkbeds? It would've so much room for activities!" ~ step brothers**

**POTTERFIED:**

"_**Mum**_! Uh, Professor McGonagall... Can we make bunkbeds? It would leave so much room for uh...**studying**! _Yeah, studying_!" he grinned at her.

The Head of Gryffindor looked down on him sternly, "Mr Weasley, with that expression on your face, I wouldn't trust you as far as I could throw you..."

She turned to leave, "Oh, and please inform Mr Malfoy he needs to be more discreet when sneaking into these Dormitories at night time... the New Password is '_Elvendork_' not '_Dobby's Sock_'..." The words came over her shoulder, but at the last she turned to Ron with a gleam of amusement in her eyes...

"Oh, and Mr Weasley, please inform young Mister Malfoy that it would be prudent to wear undergarments under his robes even if you feel no need for them... as it might be difficult to explain to Mister Filch, should he ever be caught. That is all. Ten points to Gryffindor."

And she left, leaving a stunned looking Weasley in the centre of his Dormitory, mouth agape.

~)0(~

**ORIGINAL QUOTE:**

**"that wasnt flying, that was falling with style!"**

**- Woody, Toy Story**

**POTTERFIED:**

**Harry**: "WHAT the Hell was THAT? I thought you could FLY!"

"That wasn't flying, that was falling with style...and intent to maim!"

-**Voldemort**

**~)0(~**

**ORIGINAL QUOTE:**

**King Logan - 'Fable III'**

**"This is my Albion. Its cities will bow to my law, or they will burn. **

**Its mountains will bend to my will, or they**

**will fall. **

**This is my Albion. Its people will do as I say,**

**or they will die. **

**Its future will be as I decree or it WILL end. .**

**I have seen what must be done, and nothing will**

**stand in my way. We will be greater- And we WILL be stronger, no matter what sacrifices we must make.**

**This is my Albion; and I will see it destroyed before I surrender it."**

**~*POTTERFIED:*~**

"This is MY School. Its students will bow to my leadership, or they will burn.

Its Houses will bend to my will, or they

will fall before Voldemort...

This is my Hogwarts, My HOME. Its students will do as I say,

or they will die... Divided we Fall.

Its future will be uncertain, unless we fight for it, the way I tell them to...or it WILL end.

I have seen what must be done, and nothing will

stand in my way. We will be greater- And we WILL be stronger, no matter what sacrifices we must make.

This is my Hogwarts, these are my People, my friends, my classmates; and I will see it destroyed before I surrender it."

-Harry Potter

~)0(~

**ORIGINAL QUOTE:**

**Peeta:" you love me, real or not real?"**

**Katniss:"real"**

**-mockingjay, suzanna collins**

**POTTERFIED:**

Ron: "Do you love me, for real? Or is this just an act to make Harry jealous...?"

_She saw the pain in those beautiful eyes..._

Hermione: "Forever and Always, Ron... How could you ever doubt that?"

_And she flung her arms about his sobbing form...never to let go._

~)0(~

**ORIGINAL QUOTE:**

**Jamie: Our death ray doesn't seem to be working right. I'm standing right in it, and I'm not dead yet.**

**From the Mythbusters episode titled "Ancient Death Ray".**

**POTTERFIED:**

Voldemort: "My Killing Curse doesn't seem to be working right. Potter's standing right in the beam, and he's not dead yet!"

Bellatrix patted his arm consolingly: "Do not worry, my Dark Lord, it happens to the best of us sometimes..."

Harry, tapped his foot impatiently: "Are you going to kill me now or can I go? I mean, there's a Charms Exam in the morning and I haven't studied, _sooo..._

Voldemort sighed, lowering his wand hand and covered his face in the opposite hand: "Yes, go ahead...Remind me to Kill you later..."

With a Cheery wave, Harry walked off, calling back: "Call me when you get your wand in working order again, and we can set something up..."

Voldemort rolled his eyes.

"Kids these days! _You can't kill them, and you can't live without killing them_..."

~)0(~

**ORIGINAL QUOTE:**

**"love and loyalty run deeper than blood"**

**POTTERFIED:**

"Love and Loyalty run deeper than Blood itself, for that was their way... They are the Hidden Glue to this school, keeping all the other Houses together...so yes, feel free to mock us, but we will love you for it.

We are Hufflepuff and we do not judge, we just are...

Love us or leave us, but we will defend you in the end. It is our way..."

-Nymphadora Tonks

**~)0(~**

* * *

><p><strong>To be Continued?<strong>

**Well, we'll just have to see then, shall we?**

**Hope you liked them, REVIEW.**

**~*SailorSilvanesti/Phoenix Fire*~**


	3. Chapter 3: Return of the Quotes

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or any of the related Quotes below...**

**Yes, I made Chapter 3...there is a chance of Possible Chapters 4 through Infinity, lasting until forever. Back to you Peeves. *News Music Plays* XD I'm a Weather Witch!**

* * *

><p><em><strong>~*Chapter 3*~<strong>_

_**~)0(~**_

* * *

><p><strong>ORIGINAL QUOTE:<strong>

**"Charter boat, what charter boat?" - RACQ ad**

**.**

**POTTERFIED:**

Ron: "Thestral, what Threstral- mmmph?"

Harry: "Ron, whatever you do...do NOT lick your lips..."

~)0(~

**ORIGINAL QUOTE:**

**"Me rumpled bedding legitimized!**

**Me eyelids'll flutter,**

**I'll turn into butter"**

**-Mrs. Lovett , 'Song: Down by the Sea'**

**.**

POTTERFIED:

"Me rumpled bedhead legitimized!

Me eyelids'll flutter,

I'll turn into butter

On our Wedding Day...

Under the eyes of all our Fam'ly!"

- **A Strangely Rustic Harry singing about his forthcoming Wedding to Draco.**

**~)0(~**

**ORIGINAL QUOTE:**

**"I've been many things in my life. Student. Spy. Sacrifice. Potted plant. However, at this point, I'm something completely different from all of those - something more frightening than any of them. I'm a writer." **

**-from Alcatraz Versus The Evil Librarians **

**.**

**POTTERFIED:**

"I've been many things in my life. Orphan. Wizard. Chosen One. Sacrifice. The Twin's Sex Toy. However, at this point, I'm something completely different from all of those - something more frightening than any of them. I'm a Father...or is it _Mother?_" Harry frowned to Ron, who was bouncing their infant daughter about, with a far-away look on his face...

He snapped back to reality, "Wait, the TWINS? How- I mean- but they had Neville and Lee Jordan! When-? Whatever, I do NOT want to know...and whatever you are biologically to little Nymphadora, I know what you are to me... my husband." grinned the ginger, leaning down to kiss Harry.

Smiling as they broke apart, he snatched at Ron's collar and whispered into his ear, "That was beautiful, but let's see how much you love me when it comes time to explain to Nymph how she came to be...because you are so doing it..."

Ron stood and cleared his throat, "In that case Harry, I think we need a divorce..."

They both stared at each other in silence for a few moments...

Then burst out laughing.

"Yeah right," said Ron, wiping away a tear, "We'll make Hermione do it..."

Now THAT, was a statement to which Harry wholeheartedly agreed.

~)0(~

**ORIGINAL QUOTE:**

**"When Adam's flesh and Adam's bone**

**Sits at Cair Paravel in throne, **

**The evil time will be over and done."**

**-NARNIA**

**.**

**POTTERFIED:**

"With Potter's flesh and Father's bone,

The Dark Lord Shall Return,

The evil time will again, have Come."

~)0(~

**ORIGINAL QUOTE:**

**"In the great scheme of things what matters is not how long you live but why you live, what you stand for and what you are willing to die for" - Captain Paul Watson**

**.**

**POTTERFIED:**

"In the great scheme of things what matters is not how long you live but why you live, what you stand for and what you are willing to die for. With that in mind, will you cower in the shadows? Will you wait for Voldemort –yes, I said his name aloud, _Vol-De-__**MORT**_- and his army of Death Eaters to sweep through the school and hope that he doesn't find you? Is that it?" Harry yelled at the assembled students.

The same fervour seemed to radiate from Ron, Hermione, Neville and Luna, who all stood to either side, staring down on those below… The small stage was just the right size, but how could it be anything else?

This was the Room of REQUIREMENT, after all…and he had REQUIRED a stage for five people and a little pacing…

Cramped in the small room, the remaining students of the school were pressed so tightly against one another that nervous shuffling seemed more like shivering, although Harry could see –as his gaze swept over the assembled- that some of the faces stared back with grim determination. His heart nearly broke when he realised how young some of those before him were, only First or Second Years… the idea that they might die today-… that hurt more than anytime Voldemort's hateful thoughts had activated his scar.

Colin Creevy stepped forwards as Harry faltered in the face of what he was asking of these children, his broken camera hanging about his neck and making soft chinking noises as the broken glass shards of what was once the lenses, ground together with his every movement.

A soft hand reached out to touch Harry's own, forcing the green-eyed gaze down and onto the boy who had Hero-worshipped him for many years without fail, only to see the sheer determination on the younger boy's face. It took his breath away, but the next words shocked and warmed him to the core…

Colin looked him dead in the face and said in a strong, yet soft voice filled with a strength not even he seemed to realise he possessed as he said, "We are With you Harry… Until the Very End."

It was then Harry realised it was true… at Hogwarts, help would always be freely given by those who could…all he'd had to do was ask…

~)0(~

**ORIGINAL QUOTE:**

"**Hakuna Matata"**

**-The LION KING**

**.**

**POTTERFIED:**

"Ha**KUNA** _MA_tata!" Ron cried aloud, frantically waving his wand in the correct arc, and finding nothing but a loose spurt of green sparks trailing from its end. He sighed and frowned, glaring at the long wooden object before the ever-present voice broke into his thoughts, "Oh Ron…you had the arm movement right, it's just… here, let me show you."

Hermione stepped forwards, "It **HA**_kuna Ma_**TATA**! Not Ha**KUNA**_MA_tata! See, like this… ***HA**_kuna_ _Ma_**TATA***!" she called out in a crisp, clear voice, arm slicing downwards in the perfect crescent moon arc…

There was a small explosion of sound as the room erupted into a party-atmosphere… streamers and balloons appearing everywhere! A disco ball descending from the ceiling and music starting from everywhere…

Ron smiled and put his head on her shoulder, gazing at the newly party-fied Room of Requirement in awe of her skill, "Great Job, now we can get the DA Christmas Party started…one day I'll get that blasted spell right…" he sighed. Hermione just laughed and pointed upwards with her own wand. "Oh Ron, I do believe there is a traditional Obligation we have to uphold right now…" He groaned, "If this is another thing out of 'Hogwarts: A History' I am going to go spare, you know that don't y- oh, Mistletoe. I suppose we should keep old traditions alive."

Just as he stepped closer, Seamus was found to be muttering to himself, "I wonder how that spell went again… **HAKU**na **MaT**ata! No, how about-…"

Minutes later…the Room exploded.

Not that Ron and Hermione Noticed.

~)0(~

**ORIGINAL QUOTE:**

**"Why is the rum always gone?"**

**.**

**POTTERFICATION:**

"Why is the Ron always gone when I need him here?" Harry sighed, frowning. No offence to Hermione, but sometimes you just needed to sit about a campfire with a mate, laugh, drink butterbeer and maybe punch one another in the arm…

Which apparently stood for some form of male bonding… if Ron's brothers were anything to go by… Harry had been excessively pleased when they had started to do the same thing to him, even though he had bruises for weeks after.

There was a snapping noise, his head flicked left, and Ron crashed through the brush, tripped over a log, and fell face-first into his lap. Where he snorted a giggle, waved an arm to dislodge himself and clonked Harry in the head with a bottle of strong-smelling Firewhiskey… "Heeeeeeeeey, I know y- *hic*-ou! Her-…Hermione?" giggled the redhead.

Harry sighed and tried his damndest not to smile… "Come on, Ron, let's get you to bed…" he said and lifted the quietly snoring idiot up, carrying him inside the tent… not without kicking the bottle as far from the fire as possible…an explosion would most certainly be a dead giveaway of their position.

As he trotted past the sleeping Hermione, Ron decided to roll over and nearly toppled them both…then resorted to clinging to Harry's blue shirt and mumbling about "_Can't make me tap dance…"_which Harry naturally assumed to be a spider-related dream… He carefully placed the ginger on his bunk and barely avoided being whacked as Ron flailed himself half-awake with a "NOT THE ROLLERSKATES!"

Harry patted him consolingly on the shoulder, "You'll get them next time, Ron. There's no spiders here…go back to sleep…" and the redhead lounged back against the pillows and seemed to do just that…

Sliding into his own bunk, Harry was just about to close his eyes when he heard Ron turn over towards him and whisper, "I…I know I'm drunk… and I shouldn't be…thanks for not being angry…" there was an uncontrollable giggle that he attributed to the alcohol, "Thanks for…everything, I guess."

Harry rolled over to peer at Ron, who was smiling and almost asleep again, and whispered back, "Anytime Ron…it's what-…" he paused, not wanting to over-step boundaries. But a sleepy voice finished, "It's what brothers do… Harry, don't be ashamed to say it… you're as much a Weasley as I am."

Harry grinned, "And Hermione?"

Ron mumbled something into his pillow that sounded suspiciously like, "Only if she says 'Yes'…" and fell asleep. As the soft patter of rain began on the sides of the tent, Harry found himself being lulled into sleep… a wide smile on his face…

So this was what it was like to have family…

~)0(~

**ORIGINAL QUOTE:**

**"Becoming fearless isn't the point. That's impossible. **

**It's learning how to control your fear, and how to be free from it, THAT'S the point." ~ Four, Divergent**

**.**

POTTERFIED:

"Becoming fearless isn't the point. That's impossible, you idiot! It's learning how to *_control_* your fear, and how to be free from it, THAT'S the point." Harry laughed as he circled the Dark Lord. "How does it feel to know you've wasted your life on a Quest in pursuit of nothing? Fearless means nothing… it's a lie people tell themselves to comfort their minds from harsh realities… but know this, Voldemort. You will know fear as I force your life from you… but not here, not now."

He stopped, standing face-on to the Dark Lord who watched him with a strange expression to his noseless face… with a sardonic little grin Harry stood up straight, squared his shoulders and pointed straight at Voldemort as he yelled, "Now LEAVE! And NEVER COME BACK!"

With a strangled note of surprise dying on the wind, Voldemort disapperated, and Harry hit the ground on his knees as a battered Ron and Hermione came running/limping towards him. He laughed in relief, they were safe.

That was all that mattered.

~)0(~

**ORIGINAL QUOTE:**

**"Wow, that is an old cat…"**

**.**

**POTTERFIED:**

"Wow, Hermione, that is one EVIL-Looking cat…" he commented, and barely avoided the swat coming at the side of his head from behind.

"You really have no class, Ron, I find him quite charming!"

~)0(~

**ORIGINAL QUOTE:**

**""We had to save you because you're the mockingjay, Katniss," says Plutarch, "While you live, the revolution lives.""**

**.**

**POTTERFIED:**

"We had to save you because you're the Chosen One, Harry, and because you're our friend." Gasps Ron, smiling though blood dripped past his too-pale lips, Hermione squirmed closer in Harry's grip, so she could brush her fingers against Ron's.

Her clear brown eyes held no blame as she said, "Harry, while you live, the revolution lives… HOPE lives… and if we could take a curse for you, we will. Because we are your friends, we love you no matter what… and we know… we know you will do great things." A silver tear trickled down her cheek as her voice broke slightly with sadness…

Inside he lamented his foolishness, they had both willingly stepped in front of Voldemort's Killing Curse aimed at his unguarded back… somehow defusing it enough to throw it back at the Dark Lord. Though there was victory for their side, it came at too high a cost for Harry… it should be him lying there… Ron and Hermione cradling his broken body and mourning, but finding solace in each other. Not- not the other way around…with both of them dying, who was he to turn to?

Fred had run past before in the heat of battle with the limp body of Ginny in his arms, screaming for his parents… she had thrown him out of the way, and happily paid for her actions, dying with a smile on her face. Mrs Weasley had repayed that sadistically grinning creature, Bellatrix Lestrange, by looking up from the body and howling, "Not My Daughter… NOT MY DAUGHTER, YOU _FIREBOLTING_ **BITCH**!" and using a spell Harry had never heard of to break each of the Death Eater's bones in sequence.

He would kill to do the same thing now, but his nemesis was gone… his love was dead and he was holding his two best friends close to his chest, trying not to jar their bodies too harshly from where they lay on the floor, amidst the ruined school's rubble. It was almost as if…as if he could see them fading away… and they seemed pleased to do so…

"No…" he whispered to no one in particular… tears carving white paths through the layers of grime on his face. Hermione pressed a hand to his cheek, wiping them away…her hand trembled… Ron let out a gruff, "Don't be sad, mate, I promise…we'll always be hanging around somewhere…"

"Don't cry Harry, we were glad to do it… we're your friends, we love you…" Hermione whispered seemingly far away…her eyes closed, as did Ron's… Harry felt his heartbeat shoot up to two hundred in complete and utter panic. "No, please, No! Don't be-…" he whispered to no one in particular…and suddenly, he wasn't where he thought he was before…

A world of white surrounded, so familiar, he still held on to Ron and Hermione…but they appeared whole…and sleeping deeply. Harry looked up to see Dumbledore looking down upon him with a soft, serene smile to his lips…

"Harry, I did not expect to see you here again so soon… and you have brought company, it seems." The voice was soothing, he swayed slightly as exhaustion crashed over him like a wave… "But Professor," the question burned to be asked, "Why…why are we here and… why aren't they-… why didn't they-…?"

"Die? There are no answers you would find in any of your textbooks, but it is really quite simple… Love. Their love for you protected you, ironically similar to how your mother granted you protection by refusing to allow Voldemort to kill you, even at the cost of her own life… Selfless love is its own reward…and the greatest magic of all." The words were both pointed, and deliberately vague…

"But, Professor-…wait!" he called as the white receded, and he was left on the cold, harsh stone of Hogwarts –or what was left of it. Harry damn near passed out from shock as he felt Ron and Hermione take in deep, sucking breaths… and their eyes flared open to look at him with joy in their depths…

His eyes strayed to the small, lightning bolt shaped marks on their foreheads, identical to his own…marvelling that this seemed to be a uniform development after surviving a Killing Curse, and yet not giving a damn at anything other than the fact that they were both alive!

"Harry…but, how…?" Hermione whispered, hugging his waist… Ron forgetting the 'guys don't hug' rule the Twins had drilled into him and doing the same, one arm about Harry, and the other Hermione… Without conscious thought, Harry reached out and hugged them both close as tightly as he dared…

"Selfless Love has its own Rewards…" he whispered, and would say no more on the subject…

~)0(~

**ORIGINAL QUOTE:**

**"Hide the rum"**

**- Captain Jack Sparrow**

**.**

**POTTERFIED:**

"Hide the Firewhisky, Mum's coming!" Fred hissed…well, slurred and sprayed the liquid over Ron, Harry and George… the last of which fumbled with the container and tried his damndest to cork the bottle. Which was unfortunately not a great effort… as it was sloshing everywhere!

"Okay…Plan B… We'll tell her Voldemort Imperius'd us 'sall to drink the _WireFiskey_!" Fred said officiously, spoiling the moment by giggling as Harry stood up, fell over Ron and went headfirst over the bed… George stood up, headbutting Fred and the pair went down in a jumble of identical limbs…

Ron stood up heroically, wavering on his feet, "Okay, s'all right… Errybody Calm the Firebolt Down… I got this…"

Mrs Weasley practically kicked in the door with a face like thunder.

Ron squeaked, pointed at the Gred & Forge pile on the floor and said, "He did it!" before diving over the bed to land on Harry…

"My Hero!" Fred drawled, and all four burst out laughing… Mrs Weasley was not amused.

~)0(~

**ORIGINAL QUOTE:**

"**thats a long snake"**

**.**

**POTTERFIED:**

"…and then he showed me his snake, it was a very long snake…but you couldn't disguise the damage…it had been beaten recently, and from the bruising I could see on an unfortunate close-up view I got, quite often…" Harry said confidentially to Ron.

Hermione rounded a corner at that exact moment and dropped the tea tray, magically catching it in time to hear, "I always felt rather sorry for Nagini…" and let out a sigh of relief.

**~)0(~**

**ORIGINAL QUOTE:**

**"I've got a jar of dirt!"**

**-Jack Sparrow**

**.**

**POTTERFIED:**

If this continued, he was going to hit someone.

"Well…I've got a new _Sneakoscope_! So There!" yelled one of the Twins, sticking his tongue out at the other, who promptly responded by throwing a pillow and yelling triumphantly, "Yeah well…I've uh, got a jar of…dirt? Wait, no, it's _Peruvian Instant Darkness_powder! Yes, Charlie knew JUST what I wanted!"

Ron rubbed his temples, "It's only a few more hours, it's only a few more hours, it's only a few more hours…" he chanted the mantra…

The Twins were like this every single Christmas, so far he had survived the entire day, but eventually -as always- they caught up with/trapped him in, the bedroom he was sharing with Harry… to have their mandatory 'Mine's Better Than Yours' fight…

Now, he would have had no problem with it…IF they had been little… but the fact was, they were older than him by a full two years, and this had been going on for far too long… Not to mention how soured his mood was from the pounding headache he'd gained from a bludger-to-the-head earlier in the annual Weasley Christmas Quidditch game in the garden.

Without a word, he stood up, letting the anger and irritability emanating from him in waves draw their attention to him. "OUT, Get….OUT." he said firmly, teeth grinding together, pointing out the door before sinking back to the floor, having run out of energy. It felt like something was pounding against his skull from the inside… and he just wanted to throw up, both hands clutched his aching head, not bothering to look up and see if the silence meant the twins had left.

Apparently not… as two sets of identical, stripey pyjama bottoms appeared in his vision, a cool set of hands trying to pry his own away from the burning pain in his temples, another set pressing against the flushed, hot skin of his cheeks and neck. "He's hot! Like touching molten metal…" said the owner of said hands.

"Dammnit Ron! Why didn't you say something? We wouldn't have-…" said the other indistinguishable voice, and then he was lifted up and slipped into his bed, cool sheets clung to his hot, hot skin… his eyes closed of their own volition as two identical voices argued back and forth in hushed, worried tones. Someone went for Mum, he couldn't be bothered to look who…they both looked the same anyway…

The remaining someone sat on his bed, they touched his arm… "Ron, we're sorry… we thought you liked it when we did that… you did when you were five at least." The person giggled, instantly signalling he was George, Fred flat-out refused to giggle unless drunk. "You've never complained before so we just kind of…made it a tradition… It was that Bludger I belted at you, wasn't it? Sorry… look, mum's coming, you just- _Ron_? Ron! **RON**!"

But he was too far away to hear them.

~)0(~

**ORIGINAL QUOTE:**

"**Love is like the wind you can't see it but you can feel it"**

**.**

**POTTERFIED:**

Her eyes shone as she read the card one last time before class, hardly concentrating on the test but knowing she had already passed with top marks…

The class dismissed, and her only thought was to slip into the Library during her spare class period and re-read the card, over and over until the words were burned onto her eyeballs and could not be unseen.

Sinking into an abandoned section, she surreptitiously glanced about before opening the card and sighing…

"Love is like the wind you can't see it but you can feel it,  
>Hermione, You are my Air,<br>My Oxygen…  
>Without you, I'd Die."<p>

Who knew Ron was secretly a closet romantic?

~)0(~

**ORIGINAL QUOTE:**

**"I just keep wishing I could think of a way to show them that they don't own me, that I'm more than just a piece in their games."**

**Peeta Mellark**

**.**

POTTERFIED:

"There are times I find myself daydreaming that I had found some way to show Voldemort that he cannot control me, though I believe my wand jammed into his back would lack a certain… subtlety and finesse…"

-Severus Snape

~)0(~

**ORIGINAL QUOTE:**

**''Finn Mcmissile, British Intelligence''**

**''Tow Mater, average intelligence''**

**-Cars 2**

**.**

**POTTERFIED:**

"Malfoy. Draco Malfoy… Pureblood and Soon-to-be-Ruler of this…so-called School.''

''Potter. Harry Potter…Already Hating your Guts and Chosen One."

Lesson Learnt: First Impressions Count.

~)0(~

**ORIGINAL QUOTE:**

**"Contemplation is not a loud thing to behold" **

**-Horforia T Zenro**

**.**

**POTTERFIED:**

"Ron, I can HEAR your stare from all the way over here… what's wrong?" Harry sighed, putting down the book and acknowledging he wasn't going to get anymore studying done tonight until this was solved.

The ginger-haired sex-bomb remained stony for approximately a millisecond, "You forgot our six month anniversary…" came the soft, sad reason. Harry nearly kicked himself and glanced at the clock, only ten minutes late…he could salvage this…

Of course, Hermione and the others back in the Common Room were probably wondering where the Hogwarts they had gotten to… How could he forget the Surprise Party he was throwing Ron? It must be Ron, he surmised, all those sexy glances muddled his brains…obviously.

He would have to seek…retribution, later. Aloud he said, "Aw, poor baby… how about we go back to the Common Room, I have some chocolate up there…Chocolate I BOUGHT MYSELF, and Romilda was nowhere near…" he clarified, at Ron's horrified look.

"Well, in that case, there's a perfectly good lot of chocolate crying out my name… let's go!" smiled the ginger, who got up and walked alongside Harry back to the Gryffindor Common Room for the surprise of his life.

Harry hadn't been kidding either… Romilda Vane was actually tied to the Whomping Willow at this very moment, he wasn't going to take any chances…

**~)0(~**

**ORIGINAL QUOTE:**

"**Second star to the right and straight on til morning."**

**.**

**POTTERFIED:**

The entire set of Prefects searched every inch of the school, Gryffindors looked under every banner and rock, Ravenclaws tried to work out the trajectory or potential hiding places of someone his size… even Hufflepuff had it's best Finders onto the case… but still, no sign of Neville as Day Three of the search rolled around.

Slytherin, as usual, was being difficult.

So everybody knew someone –most likely Malfoy- had something to do with the disappearance… and several of the teachers –namely Professor McGonagall- were ready to wring it out of his scrawny little neck. Dumbledore was sorely tempted to let her…

On the fifth day of missing Neville… Draco cracked. Of course, so did his jaw, after Harry, Ron and Hermione had a little… "_chat_" with him, regarding the potential whereabouts of their missing Housemate.

"Alright, Enough!" he had screamed, cowering, not so brave without his half-troll bodyguards. "I might have told the ruddy idiot that there was a cure for insanity, the dust from a Pixie…in a place called Neverland…" Hermione snorted, "Neville wouldn't believe you, and especially not THAT…"

Draco looked up and smirked, "He might, if I pretended to drink Veritaserum…" She slapped him, "What did you tell him, Malfoy? Where is he?" she screamed in his face… passers-by in the hallway glanced, but continued on in bored amusement. Malfoy was an obnoxious little snot who needed taking down a peg or two, if Granger wanted to do it… that was fine with them.

"I gave him the directions, of course… 'Second star to the right and straight on til morning'…" smirked the blonde; Ron gave into his baser urges and Stupified the git. Harry groaned, "Oh no, that explains the missing broomstick! If he really did that, you don't suppose… it really exists do you?"

"I would ruddy hope so, or it would mean Peter here isn't real and I don't have real pixie dust in this bag!" came a voice from the other end of the corridor, and a rather bedraggled Neville came into view…wearing Indian Warpaint and a feathered hat thing…

A floating boy darted in and about around him, Hermione gasped, "No…that's not…I mean it CAN'T be- but- Peter Pan…?" she asked tentatively. The green-clad boy nodded and hovered over to her, "Nice to meet you…Hermione, you're Ron, and he must be Harry… what with the scar! Neville's told be all about you on the way back, his flying broom broke and he landed on Hook's ship… quite an adventure! Luckily Tink –Tinkerbell- decided to come and help, so he and I flew back."

Neville blushed as a golden orb flew out from under his robe flap, circling him, and he rose in the air; floating effortlessly with a wide smile, "You have to try this!" he said enthusiastically.

Harry was tempted, but said, "Maybe later… The Headmaster said if we found you to take you to the infirmary and tell him, then we'll find some way to sneak you to St Mungo's… to see if it, you know, works…"

~*~)0(~*~

He tiptoed across the room, watching the peacefully sleeping faces of his parents at rest, safe at last from their nightmares, and prayed to whoever was listening that this worked… "Okay Tink," Neville whispered, "Let them have it!"

And so, the fairy threw as much Pixie Dust as she possessed, all over his parents…

They rose from their beds, faces turning from peaceful to serene, eyelids flickering; Neville bit his lip, and prayed it would work…

One woke first and turned to look him dead on with sleep-hazed eyes, "N-Neville, honey what's wrong? Did you have a nightmare or- W-When did you get so tall?"

He threw himself at her, "Mum…I missed you so much…"

**~)0(~**

**ORIGINAL QUOTE:**

"**Dance like nobody is watching,**

**Love like you will never be hurt,**

**Sing like no one is listening,**

**Live like it is heaven on earth..."**

**.**

**POTTERFIED:**

"Relax!" he smiled over the Heads of the New First Years, all Gryffindors newly-sorted and looking rather scared… "I'm Ron Weasley, this is Hermione Granger…we'll be your Prefects this year, so come to us with any problems, questions or anything else you need."

Hermione ran through a basic layout of the school, advising against staircases, mentioning the Portraits and all the general Rules like lights out, Forbidden Forest, no streaking in the classrooms, all the mundane housekeeping.

When she finished, they had ended up in front of the Fat Lady Portrait, "And here, First Years, is the secret entrance to the Gryffindor Common Room… you are NEVER to reveal this unless directed to, or given permission. '_Can my friend come and see it_?' is not acceptable, however, '_You-Know-Who has invaded, and my friend can't get to her Common Room_' will be taken into consideration…

Now, this week's password is: _Niffler Nuffler_. I swear I did not make that up, McGonagall did… now, in we go." The Fat Lady swung open obligingly.

There was a momentary surge of short robed creatures, and then sighs of pure awe…

"Alrighty, now I have you captive in here, there are some things you need to know. As Gryffindors, you have been found Brave, Loyal, a little reckless and Fearless. Which means, that no matter what, never be afraid to try something… Dance like nobody is watching, Sing like no one is listening, Tell bad jokes and still laugh as if they were hilarious, and most of all, Never give up and don't be afraid to fail more than once, Stand up for your fellow Gryffindors, even if it means Detention… Of course when I say 'never give up' you should know that the stairs leading to the Girl's Dormitory are enchanted, and you can't walk up them, climb them, counter-curse them, spell them in any manner and use of broomsticks generally gets you both electrocuted and detention."

Ron smiled, and walked away to dive onto a couch as Hermione took over the day-to-day items like which student was going in which Dormitory and all those sorts of things… He could already see a few of the pluckier First Years eyeing the Girl's Stairs with something approaching sheer determination and curiosity…

Well, tonight was going to be fun at least…

**~)0(~**

* * *

><p><strong>So, that was the end of Chapter 3...how did you find it?<strong>

**REVIEW, if you feel like it.**

**Look out for the next Chapters...Soon!**

**~*SailorSilvanesti/Phoenix Fire*~**


	4. Chapter 4: Attack of the Quotes

**Disclaimer: I Do not Own Harry Potter or any of the below Original Quotations.**

**So, here is the Fourth Installment of the Quotes & Quips Fanfic, do you like how it was going?**

**Because you are going to LOVE THIS. Enjoy!**

* * *

><p><em><strong>~*Chapter 4*~<strong>_

_**~)0(~**_

* * *

><p><strong>ORIGINAL QUOTE:<strong>

"**If you're from Africa, why are you white?"**

**- Mean girls**

**.**

**POTTERFIED:**

"If you're Magical…why don't you sparkle?"

The curious question was to be the direct cause of the Death of Dudley Dursley…

~)0(~

**ORIGINAL QUOTE:**

**"You'll poke your eye out!" **

**- A Christmas Story **

**.**

**POTTERFIED:**

"You'll poke your eye out if you don't stop waving that wand about, Mr Finnegan!" cried Professor Flitwick, the tiny charms Professor, in alarm. Dashing over to confiscate the item before anything exploded…

"It is a wonder you ever got your wand at all, Seamus. I can assure you… there will never be a need for such grandiose wand-waving and explosive Pyrotechnics…not at this school! Should that day come… I shall-… I shall eat my own wand!" he steadfastly declared to the entire class, even though a flushing Seamus Finnegan dipped his head in embarrassment.

_~*~)0(~*~_

As the battle raged on about them, slowly ebbing into obscurity amidst the moans and cries of the injured and dying… the dark supporters slowly turned tail, one by one, and ran before they were dragged away by the Ministry-loyal Dementors, to Azkaban –the place of nightmares and despair.

Rubble was marked and twisted with curse burns, dark black and star-shaped, that showed where someone had narrowly missed losing a limb, or their life… and then there was the fine granules of dust that gently floated down onto just about anything and anyone who stood still long enough… There had been, all through the fierce battle, the sound and awe-inspiring sight of explosions… sending many a Death Eater, Werewolf and Giant skywards…

Flitwick fervently prayed that the student in question who was most likely directly responsible for the deadly light show had forgotten in the interim of…all…those…year…

He turned about to the sound of a clearing throat, only to come face-to-kneecaps with Seamus Finnegan, who was looking down with a broad grin, brandishing something… it was brought closer as a cheery voice chirped, "Oh Professor…would you like tomato sauce with that?"

To Hex, or Not to Hex a Student…?

That was the Question.

**~)0(~**

**ORIGINAL QUOTE:**

**"One Ring To Rule Them All!" **

**-Lord of the Rings**

**.**

**POTTERFIED:**

"One King to Catch the Quaffle! Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeah!" the Crowd erupted as Ron dived left in front of the third goalpost and saved yet *_another_* goal, Slytherins hissed and booed, but the Gryffindors were ecstatic.

A rousing Chorus of '_Weasley is Our King_' broke out… no one sang louder than Hermione, who could not –no matter how illogical it seemed to be fixated on one player in a game with over a dozen others – tear her eyes away from the Keeper…

Likewise, Harry sang along heartily from where he sat on his broomstick, occasionally forgetting to chase the Snitch as he ogled the Keeper, he caught Hermione's eyes from where she stood applauding still, in the stands… and winked.

Sure, Gryffindor may appreciate his Keeping Skills, but as far as they were concerned, Ronald Weasley was THEIR King, and they would show him just how 'courteous' they could be to 'royalty' later that night…

She blew the pair a kiss, Harry smiling… and Ron, like the Keeper he was, catching it with perfect precision.

~)0(~

**ORIGINAL QUOTE:**

" **Knock knock knock "Penny", **

**Knock knock knock "Penny", **

**Knock knock knock "Penny" "**

**- The Big Bang Theory**

**.**

**POTTERFIED:**

Knock knock knock "Hermione",

Knock knock knock "Hermione",

Knock knock knock "Hermione"

Knock Knock Kn-

"WHAT?" yelled an exasperated, frazzled-looking Hermione Granger, whisking open the door so hard Harry nearly fell through the doorway and onto the carpet within… "Oh, uh… I forgot. Anyway, goodnight!" he pecked her on the cheek and bounded away like the energiser bunny after a dozen straight cups of caffeine…

She ground her teeth and turned around, noting the emptied bottle of liquid luck that had fallen from his shirt in the conflict… she bent down to retrieve it and let out a shriek of triumph –immediately waking everyone else in her Dormitory, who had somehow remained oblivious to the knocking episode.

"THERE IT IS!" she crowed and snatched up the Transfiguration Assignment ("Metamorphology, Animagi and Skinwalkers, Lunar Limitations and Laws Regarding through the Ages") she had misplaced the day before and had been steadfastly turning the room upside down to find…

Suddenly, she wasn't quite so angry…in fact, she flung open the door a second time to find Harry standing there with a silly grin on his face, and threw herself into him…kissing the Chosen One so hard they toppled to the floor amidst a chorus of 'Awwww!'s and someone calling out, "Get a Room you two!"

To which some other witty creature replied, "Just not this one, we're trying to sleep!"

~)0(~

**ORIGINAL QUOTE:**

**Aggressive, tough and defiant may describe me, but that leaves the impression I'm mean and I'm not. People expect me to have fangs. **

–**Joan Jett**

**.**

**POTTERFIED: **

Weak, Nerdy and Useless may have described me in the past, but that leaves the impression I'm incapable of doing anything right… and to be honest, at the time it was true. Or maybe it was that no one ever gave me the chance to prove otherwise. But now…?

Now I'm a Hero…and all it took was a little Magic Trick, pulling a Sword out of a Hat, as it were.

-Neville Longbottom, grinning at the witty anecdote.

~)0(~

**ORIGINAL QUOTE:**

**I don't know if I miss it per se, but I do miss the fact that there just doesn't seem to be any rock 'n' roll out there anyplace. Everything does seem kind of tame. It's even hard in Manhattan to go out and find a good band to go see.**

**-Joan Jett**

**.**

**POTTERFIED:**

Excerpt from "Where are they Now?" article in The Daily Prophet, ten years on:

'_Mr Potter was quoted as saying in an interview with myself, Rita Skeeter, that life is not as much fun without the Dark Lord trying to kill him daily. As shown below in the following quote:_

"I don't know if I miss it per se, but I do miss the fact that there just doesn't seem to be quite as much going on in life now that Voldemort's gone. Everything does seem kind of tame. Once or twice Ron, Hermione and I have followed people who looked like him, just on the off-chance it lead to some sort of adventure… it usually doesn't, but the one time we tailed Kinglsey Shacklebolt [Minister of Magic] for a laugh, he had his Body Guards/Aurors pick us up…"

_Mr Potter is still quite the famous nuisance even after all these years, it seems. This is Rita Skeeta reporting_.'

There was a momentary pause, before the explosion…

"That absolute, complete, utter, stuck-up, snobby cow…she is such a-… such a…WITCH! And it's all wrong! I mean, they were picking us all up for a surprise party… How did she even GET THIS?" Harry yelled at the top of his voice.

Leaving Ron to duck as a teacup left the tablecloth and threw itself at the wall, in the exact spot where his head had been seconds before, seemingly of it's own volition…

"Steady On Mate!" he yelled back, "She did it to all of us… Hermione's a '_Drunken, silly little thing with no ambition other than furthering the Weasley line'_, apparently and I'm…_well, that's not very nice_…" he mumbled.

Harry snatched the paper back, read the particular 'quote' from Ron and burst out laughing, "Oh my- '_Draco Malfoy's Secret Sex Toy Boy, Mr Weasley is all muscles and no brains… but this is widely accepted, as he was one of the so-called Golden Trio who apparently 'saved' the world from Lord Voldemort and his Death Eaters.' _Apparently my ass!" Harry raged a little.

Ron frowned deeply, "If I ever find her, I am going to shove that Quick Quotes Quill of hers right up her a-…"

"Oh wait, look at this, '_Tomorrow: Lord Voldemort, Villain or simply mis-understood Orphan with Powers Dumbledore Envied?'_" Harry's eyes bugged out on stalks at that, "Whoa…if she survives publishing that article…I'll kill her for you. But…where exactly did she get all these 'quotes' from? I know I had an interview the other day, but it wasn't with her at all, some new kid who was clearly into hero worship as he wouldn't stop offering to uh, actually let's not talk of this again."

Ron nudged him, "Wanted to 'Polish your wand' for you, did he? Ha Hah! Oh, that is hilarious, how did Ginny take it…and is he still alive or in a coma?" Ginny was a *little* possessive when it came to Harry. Said obsession of his little sister's flushed scarlett, "I, uh…haven't told her yet… he looked like such a nice kid, and he was so *young* I just couldn't condone that kind of torture… anyway, how on earth could she have gotten, well, *THAT*?"

"So, um, Ron…what's this about Draco…?" he couldn't resist asking after a pause. The Weasley flushed as scarlet as his hair, "Oh, uh… well, in my interview he was quite… enthusiastic and a lot of fun. Although he didn't promise to 'Polish my Wand' as it were, he did infer we could get up to some 'Magic Tricks' with our Broomsticks in the Bathroom if we felt like it… I turned him down, he took it well, I thought. Then of course he blindsides me with the question, "Who would you turn gay for, Mr Weasley?" and I spluttered for a second before answering with you –Harry- of course, maybe Neville and, uh…well, I put it '_If Draco Malfoy ever asks, I wouldn't say '_No_'_'…"

At this point, Harry was holding onto a chair to keep himself upright, laughing so hard his face and ears were pink, before sobering up. "N- Neville? R-really…? Well I suppose he has a nice a-…"

There was a loud, musical CLINK, and they both turned swiftly to find Hermione shaking a small, black beetle inside a glass jar; with a smile like a cat who had just found an Olympic swimming pool full of cream, she said, "Oh…I think I have a fair idea on how our 'quotes' in that 'exclusive interview' that we were never party to, were gotten, wouldn't you concur… Ms Skeeta?"

Harry wasn't sure if bugs could swear… the animagus journalist was certainly trying her best…

With a coy look, Hermione gave the boys a glance that said she knew everything and sauntered from the room with a, "Why don't you tell Ron how YOU answered Who you Would Turn Gay For, Harry…? You know, apart from him…" and she was gone.

Sometimes he wondered if she was psychic…or simply Superman, but he suspected Ron would have worked out the latter… on their Honeymoon. He turned to find said Red-head watching expectantly, "You chose me, yeah? AND…? C'mon Harry, I told you who I would… go on!"

Adopting a serious expression, Harry responded, "Oh, You of course, but Draco too… Definitely Draco…"

And they both stood there, nodding seriously…until Hermione's high squeal of laughter at their sombre expressions forced them to burst out laughing.

…They never did find the body of the Interviewer, and Ginny isn't telling.

~)0(~

**ORIGINAL QUOTE:**

"**If it prove so, then loving goes by haps **

**Some Cupid kills with arrows, some with traps."**

**.**

**POTTERFIED:**

If it prove so, then the readers do wince,

As Lily clings to the Potter, and not the Half-blood Prince.

~)0(~

**ORIGINAL QUOTE:**

"**I'm a Goofy Goober, Yeah! You're a Goofy Goober, Yeah!"  
>-Spongebob<strong>

**.**

**POTTERFIED:**

"I'm a Weasley, Yeah…I'm fully aware of that guys… but you're both Weasleys too, Yeah… mum said so… She made you a jumper after all. Now…about her wanting to dye your hair Red…"

-Ron Weasley, to Harry & Hermione

**~)0(~**

**ORIGINAL QUOTE:**

**"I can't carry it, but I can carry you!"**

**-Samwise Gamgee, from LOTR**

**.**

**POTTERFIED:**

Snape dashed headlong into the night and snatched at the terrified pale boy before him, his hand snagged the coat and he disapperated them away from the school grounds, Potter cursing his name to the skies…

As soon as they apparated in a small, unknown location…well, unknown to the reeling figure of Draco that he put out both hands to steady; side-along apparition was never enjoyable at the best of times, and this certainly hadn't been prepared for…

It just so happened to be his secret home away from Hogwarts, and no student had ever dared set foot here before, he questioned his sanity for bringing the boy here, but one glance at the shaken, pale and shaking Malfoy…and he knew. Now, Severus Snape was not exactly known for his gentle caring ways, and was rather hesitant to say anything that could misconstrued as cold or uncaring, he didn't want the boy to cry because he certainly couldn't handle that at the moment…

Not with the gravity of what he had just done settling in.

Failing to find another way around the situation, Snape reached out and generally shook the boy by the shoulders, forcing those piercing eyes to snap onto his own… a quiet voice said, "Prof- Professor? I'm…I'm so sorry, it was my task-…I was supposed to… but I couldn't… Dumbledore even made it easy but I couldn't… and now Voldemort is going to be so mad, he'll hurt everyone! I'll tell him it was all my fault so he won't be angry with you, promise."

It was then, with a sadness in his heart, that Snape realised exactly what he faced here… Draco was nothing more than a small boy who had been forced to grow up too fast on a steady diet of hatred and neglect… This task had nearly destroyed the boy.

He pushed gently, Draco stumbled and fell back into the solitary armchair in the room… Snape knelt down to look directly into those sad, confused eyes that seemed so lost. "Draco, you could not kill Professor Dumbledore, So I killed him for you…" the scars of the Unbreakable Vow on his hand glowed a moment…and then faded away… "and I do not regret doing so. True, the Dark Lord will be angry that you failed, but I shall tell him the truth, that Dumbledore was using his strange abilities to disarm you… He will believe my word over the Carrows' or indeed, even Bellatrix, for she is quite mad and many things she says make little sense."

He stood, feeling watched and let out a wry smile, "I do believe we are about to have company…" and sure enough, Narcissa Malfoy, Bellatrix Lestrange and Lord Voldemort burst into the room over-dramatically. Narcissa throwing herself at her son without a second's hesitation, Bellatrix dancing about in her own world and Voldemort staring at him with something between anger and pleasure…

"Severus…" he rasped, "Would you care to explain why it is you killed Dumbledore…? I do believe I asked the young Draco to do so…" there was a sweeping gesture at the limp boy having his ribs crushed by his mother. Snape cleared his throat and replied, "It appears that Professor Dumbledore _Confounded_ the poor boy, it turns out he was not indeed willing to die for his students but rather to use them as a shield… How very… _Disappointing_."

Voldemort nodded, seeming to consider this before saying, "Then come, we must celebrate this victory… now Potter is unguarded in that silly little school, we shall strike when he is weakest… at that house of…" Voldemort shuddered, "…Muggles." He spat with distaste.

Snape bowed slightly, almost impudently in the guise of formality, and said, "As you wish, my Lord." Then turned and picked up the now-sleeping form of Draco, Narcissa hurrying along beside and Bellatrix now singing about Dumbledore Pizza…probably the pavement kind, and followed Voldemort back to Malfoy Manor as he disapperated.

One Promise kept… One Child Saved… One More to Go.

~)0(~

**ORIGINAL QUOTE:**

**"Well, this sucks, now there's two of you!"**

**- Jenny, TRLOAAT**

**.**

**POTTERFIED:**

"Well, that's just weird, now there's seven of us! Uh…you…"

Ron was completely stumped for a quip about the situation… Harry slapped his hand away from the waistband as Ron went to have a 'comparative look'… sighing slightly inside, but freezing in horror as he heard Hermione-Harry giggle and whisper, "So…NOT the Greatest Wizard of them All…"

He nearly died on the spot, but then grinned and threw back, "That's not what Draco says…"

~)0(~

**ORIGINAL QUOTE:**

**Apollo: 'Grass breaks through the snow.**

**Artemis pleads for my help. **

**I am so cool' **

**Artemis: 'The last line only had four syllables. What about I am so big-headed?' **

**Apollo: 'No, that's six...I got it! I am so awesome!' **

**- **Artemis and Apollo, Percy Jackson

.

**POTTERFIED:**

**Draco:** '_Gave Peeves an Eyeful._

_Potter pleads for my touches. _

_I am so Hot_!'

**Pansy** **(**snorts**):** 'The last line only had four syllables. What about '_I've a massive ego'_?'

**Draco:** 'No, that's six...I got it! _I'd tap that fine ass_!'

~)0(~

**ORIGINAL QUOTE:**

**Buzz Lightyear: I believe the word you're searching for is "Space-Ranger".**

**Woody: The word I'm searching for, I can't say it because there's preschool toys present…**

**-Toy Story**

**.**

**POTTERFIED: **

**Draco Malfoy:** I believe the words you're searching for is "_Pureblood Stud_" and "_Thank You For Last Night_".

**Harry (**Narrows Eyes**):** And *I* believe the words I'm searching for, can't be said because there's First Years present…

**~)0(~**

**ORIGINAL QUOTE:**

**"Tattoos and a switchblade attitude,**

**Snake bite heat with a bubble gum smile"**

**-All Time Low**

**.**

**POTTERFIED:**

"Frizzy Hair and a brilliant mind,

All the loyalty and bravery of a Gryffindor,

With the sheer intelligent wit of a Ravenclaw.

An Absolute Pleasure to Teach."

-McGonagall, on a school performance letter about Miss Hermione Granger

~)0(~

**ORIGINAL QUOTE:**

**"Whatever you do in life will be **

**insignificant but it is very **

**important that you do it because...**

**You can't know...**

**You can't ever really know the **

**meaning of your life...**

**And you don't need to... **

**Just know that your life has a meaning...**

**Every life has a meaning... whether **

**it lasts one hundred years or one **

**hundred seconds...**

**Every life... And every death... changes the **

**world in its own way...**

**Ghandi knew this. He knew his life **

**would mean something to someone, **

**somewhere, somehow. And he knew **

**with as much certainty that he **

**could never know that meaning... **

**He understood that enjoying life **

**should be of much greater concern **

**then understanding it. **

**And so do I.**

**You can't know...**

**So don't take it for granted... **

**But don't take it too seriously...**

***Don't postpone what you want... **

***Don't leave anything misunderstood... **

***Make sure the people you care about know... **

**Make sure they know how you really feel...**

**Because just like that...**

**IT COULD END"**

-Remember Me

.

**POTTERFIED:**

"Whatever you do in life will be

So very important, Harry.

I know it seems unfair to have such a burden pushed upon you but…

This is your Destiny...

You can't ever really know the

meaning of your life...

And you don't need to...

Just know that your life has brought hope to so many who had lost it...

That you survived death as a child, an infant, in the face of such evil...

Every life... And every death... changes the

world in its own way...

Your Mother knew this, as did your Father. He knew his life

Was a sacrifice he was willing to make to protect you,

Your mother felt the same way. And he knew the why, she knew too…it was you, Harry.

You were the reason, your life meant more than their own… and this is what has saved you from death.

Anything and everything you do in this life, will be important…you will always be watched and those around you will naturally see you as a leader...

Never be afraid to ask me for help...

But never forget to be a CHILD...saving the world can wait until you are older.

*Do whatever you need to, I shall support you. It is your life too, despite what the world will think of you…

*Find some friends to hold fast to in the Darkest of times, I feel one of them will light the way for you… Find those who love you for you, and not what you have done…

*Make sure they know how it is you see them… never push away those you love in fear, dear child. That is the worst mistake you can ever make… Make sure they know how you really feel...

Ah, but if only you were old enough to understand my words, little Harry…"

Dumbledore whispered to the gurgling baby in his arms, so small and yet the scar on his forehead foretold his future was to be full of tribulation and triumph… and he would make sure the child was prepared… but for now…

With a heavy heart, the Headmaster of Hogwarts placed the infant on the Doorstep of his only living Blood Relatives… and walked away.

Someday soon…he would see the child again.

~)0(~

**ORIGINAL QUOTE:**

**'Stand up for what you believe in, even if you're standing alone.'**

**.**

**POTTERFIED:**

'Stand up for what you believe in, Harry, and you will never stand alone...' Hermione whispered in his ear, clutching one of his hands, Ron on the other side, did the same… "Yeah mate, if you ever need a hand, look for us… we'll be there. We're behind you all the way…even if you are being a bit of a tosser…"

That should have ruined the moment, but as the three of them felt the solemn mood dissolve into giggles it felt…right, somehow. Warmer.

The world was Wrong… Family was what you made it, they were his… and he couldn't think of anything better.

~)0(~

**ORIGINAL QUOTE:**

**'When you feel like giving up, remember why you held on for so long.'**

**.**

**POTTERFIED:**

'_When you feel like giving up, remember why you held on for so long and you will find the strength to go on_…' whispered the voice in his mind as consciousness flooded back, he shoved off the ground wincing as everything started to ache…

Pushing himself upright using a collapsed column, Neville took a shuffling step…biting back a cry and forging on, the others needed him and he would not fail them…

He wouldn't… couldn't…

His eyes spied something tattered and lying on its side in the rubble, upon closer inspection he recognised the Hat whom he had argued vehemently about being a Hufflepuff… before it had thrown him into Gryffindor with a whispered, "_You'll see…_" the eerie cackle that had followed played in his head even now.

"So…" it smiled –if hats could indeed smile- "It seems the time has come… you were always a Gryffindor, Mr Longbottom, and now you will prove my prophecy true… It has always been inside you…"

He picked up the Sorting Hat…and felt something odd, something familiar… something metallic that begged his hand to close around it's hilt…

A grin lit up his features as he heard Voldemort call out from the courtyard just across the way, inviting volunteers…

With a soundless laugh he turned and shuffled towards them, much to the incredulity of his classmates… 'Well,' he thought, closing his hand around the hilt as he neared the snake, 'Let's see how they feel about this then…'

And with a cry, he loosed the Sword and proved to all…he was a True Gryffindor. His laughter mingled with the dying screams of the Dark Lord… and it felt, GOOD.

**~)0(~**

**ORIGINAL QUOTES:**

**'Heroes get remembered, but legends never die'**

**.**

**POTTERFIED:**

As he rested under the tree by the Lake, during School recess, George found himself staring at the mirror-like surface of the Lake and regretting that his reflection would never be the same as staring into his twin's eyes…

To have a living mirror was… it was indescribable, and to loose such a thing was heart rending… even now he felt pain when he thought upon the schism between them, like a Veil. Separating the live and dead parts of the Weasley Twins…

Of course, it could be due to the fact they had just had a Remembrance Ceremony for the fallen of Hogwarts… and, as one of the so-caled 'Heroes' of the day, he had had to show up and skulk about…strangely phobic of all the attention. It just…didn't feel right being on his own, but Angelina helped…

He saw former classmates there, and many faces he knew from his pranking… many of the older students ran when he appeared as they remembered his fondness for using them as Skiiving Snackbox testers, back in the day… Wow, some of those First Years had gotten big!

Feeling strangely reminiscent, he had wandered to the Great Lake on a whim, watching them al passing by… the Giant Squid came up to see him at one point, obviously remembering how he and Fred used to tickle him with Lee Jordan… and he was only to happy to oblige. There was nothing funnier than a Squid laughing… except maybe… the expression on Umbridge's face if you mentioned Centaurs…

Ah well… He leant back against the tree, watching the clouds swirl about above, clouding over a magnificent day with the perfect symbolism to his mood, where light was going sour and giving way to the darkness…

Until he heard a group of tittering students pass by in a clump, hushed whispers were loud enough for him to catch the key phrases like, 'fireworks', 'explosions' and 'Umbridge nearly wet herself!' at which point he realised what they were talking about and said, "Howdy there…" and laughed as they jumped.

Five minutes later, he found himself surrounded by a group of awestruck students of all Years and Houses, recounting many a tale of how he and Fred had gotten around teachers, upset Filch, made McGonagall chase them with her broomstick through the Great Hall and even that one time Peeves had congratulated them on their destructive prowess…

The Poltergeist had wiped an ectoplasmic tear away as he said he had never been so proud in his unlife, and had NEVER before had such promising students…

The then the school-bell rang loudly, though the students seemed reluctant to walk away when there were many other stories he could impart… he heard them whispering the tales back and forth on the way into the school… As if trying to commit them to memory…

George let out a laugh, somewhere between joy and strangled sob… he turned to address the Weasley Twin in the Lake… Score for us, Fred… So what if only Heroes get remembered, sometimes even get a pretty statue… but legends like us never die, Fred. I have a feeling our exploits will be passed down for generations…"

Then ruined the profound moment by letting out a girlish squeak as 'Harvey' (as they had called him in First Year) the Giant Squid snaked out a tentacle and tugged him into the Lake…

He came up spluttering and laughing, Harvey was nearly as bad as Fred. An outrageous idea struck him, "Hey Harvey… how does being painted red sound to you…?" Well, he took the silence as assent… but was tackling one major question…

How would he explain to his mother…? And exactly how was he going to fit Harvey into the bathtub?

~)0(~

**ORIGINAL QUOTE:**

"**I remember watching a romance movie when I got home from the hospital and I cried at the end...only because my IQ had dropped into single digits."**

**.**

**POTTERFIED:**

"Well when you two left me alone in the Hospital Wing after Sirius bit me… I remember that Draco dragged in Crabbe and Goyle, idiots were somehow stuck together… With what and how, I didn't want to know, but they were all Glittery, like they were wearing fairy dust or something…

So, I was watching the pair of them try to explain what had happened…something about a costume party. They had this book see, with some chick holding an apple on it, so -when Madam Pomfrey was tutting at them, I kind of Accio'd it in my direction… Suddenly it all made sense...this mad Muggle had written-… and-…sparkling Vampires… it was full-on mental!" Ron gasped, to the consoling Harry and Hermione, "And I laughed so hard I ended up tearing up, because they'd covered themselves in glue and rolled in the floor, trying to be vampires or something mental like that. Bloody Hell, I knew they were thick but-…well, that's even surpassed their previous level of stupidity!

Then, out of nowhere, I start really crying because I just realised that, in reading that stupid book, my IQ had dropped into single digits… If I ever find this 'Meyer' chick…I WILL Kill her for that…"

His friends were silent, then leapt forwards and hugged him.

Harry patted his back, "It's all right Ron, it's over now, that nasty book can't hurt you anymore…" and Hermione was strangling him a little and saying how brave he was to have survived, it was all very surreal…

Then she piped up with, "So…what happened to the Book?"

Ron blinked, then grinned… "It's a safe bet that Draco has it…" Their expressions asked HOW on EARTH he could possibly know that… and he beamed even wider, "He's on top of the Astronomy Tower, howling at the moon…" The pair burst out laughing.

Alright, so he'd not been quite truthful in that statement…Draco was actually on the Ravenclaw Tower, howling at the moon… but he wasn't exactly going to tell them the best bit until later. He couldn't wait to see how dangerously homicidal those braniacs got when they were sleep deprived…

Something told him to wear armour to Breakfast… or he might find a quill embedded in his back…

Harry and Hermione stood there at the edge of the Common Room couch with puzzled expressions on their faces as Ron started to laugh until he cried… then looked to one another, shrugged, and went to go see Draco for themselves.

**~)0(~**

**ORIGINAL QUOTE:**

**"Two things are infinite the universe and human stupidity but I am not too sure about the first" **

**-Einstein**

**.**

**POTTERFIED:**

Two things are dead certainties at Hogwarts: Slytherin thinks they're in charge… and there will always be at least one Weasley enrolled here…but the first law was obviously written by a Madman…or a Slytherin. Is there a difference?

**~)0(~**

**ORIGINAL QUOTE:**

**'Oh My God, that was the ugliest effing skirt I've ever seen' **

**- Regina George, Mean Girls**

**. **

**POTTERFIED:**

'Oh My God, that was the ugliest effing set of earrings I've ever seen! I mean, RADDISHES? Come on people, this isn't a mental hospital for whackos! And WHAT was up with that NECKLACE? How did she even get a Wand, I mean GOSH, there is something wrong with her-…" There was a tap on her shoulder, it was Luna Lovegood standing behind/clinging to, Neville Longbottom. "What do _you_ want?" Pansy Parkinson's voice went slightly flirty and she winked at the stony-faced hunk.

Neville looked quite grave as he raised an arm, "Normally I don't hit girls…but you're more of a bitch…" Pansy soared across the room to land at the feet of a red-headed girl whom she immediately realised was a murderous looking Ginny Weasley, "We warned you to leave Luna alone," she said, "But it seems you need to learn it the hard way…"

Her knuckles cracked eerily…

Suddenly, alone without her gaggle of attentive Slytherins who had run for Snape, she found she really rather liked the Radish earrings…and the necklace was kind of charming in a weird, weird way…

Too bad she couldn't have said so beforehand…

~*~)0(~*~

Snape bustled up the corridor with black robes billowing, the worried group of Slytherin females behind him; it was concerning to find the entire corridor devoid of life. Though it was obvious the girls were not lying –NOBODY EVER was stupid enough to lie to him- but it was concerningly vexing to not be able to see Miss Parkinson anywhere…

He was already calculating how many points he would take from Gryffindor for this… and maybe Ravenclaw too, Miss Lovegood didn't seem to have stopped anything…

There was a cheer as the clock struck four outside and a muffled scream… he raced outside… to stop dead still in surprise… Miss Parkinson was tied to the Hour Hand of the school clock, with –of all things- a radish shoved in her mouth.

Maybe he would let her down in a few hours… he wondered if those knots were strong enough to hold her in place when the clock struck six…

Only TIME…would Tell.

* * *

><p><strong>~)0(~<strong>

* * *

><p><strong>TBC...?<strong>

**REVIEW, if you liked it...**

**~*SailorSilvanesti/Phoenix Fire*~ ^_-**


	5. Chapter 5: The Randomness of the Quotes

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or any associated Characters... Dammnit.**

**Another Installation of the wonderful Potterfied Quotes & Quips Saga... potentially the last... so please. ENJOY.**

* * *

><p><em><strong>~*Chapter 5*~<strong>_

* * *

><p><strong>~)0(~<strong>

**ORIGINAL QUOTE:**

**"We're all mad here" Cheshire Cat Alice in Wonderland**

**.**

**POTTERFIED:**

"You don't have to be mad to live at Hogwarts, but it does help… Moving Staircases, talking portraits, secret rooms… would send any Muggle outta their minds! We're all a little nuts, here… but that's why it's so awesome." Ron said with great authority to the First Year Gryffindors he and Hermione had the honour and duty to escort to the Common Room for the first time… Suddenly he had a new respect for Pompous Percy the Prefect… and was horrified at the idea of vague respect for his slimy git of an older brother.

**~)0(~**

**ORIGINAL QUOTE:**

**"Tell me Why I Shouldn't Kill you right now!"Jim Raaynor, Starcraft 2: Wings of Liberty**

**.**

**POTTERFIED:**

"Give me one good reason why I shouldn't kill you right now?" he seethed, wand directed at George's throat, Hermione practically sitting on George's chest, equally as furious. The Twin beneath his heated gaze let out a strangled whine that could have meant any number of things… Fred wasn't helping… "Hermione, when did you get so heavy?" he cried.

Her face froze, "Are you calling me…fat, Fred Weasley?"

He saw the danger, and went very, very quiet…

Harry grabbed the collar of George's garish purple shirt, pulling him up to eye-height with a strangely easy tug… "I'll ask one more time… What did you do with Ron, and Why shouldn't I kill you right now?"

With an explosive spray of golden sparks, the Smartest Witch of Her Age '_accidentally_' turned Fred into a Newt, "I think the Blast Ended Skrewts are hungry this time of day, wouldn't you say Harry…?" she grinned in a frighteningly malicious way; the Chosen One nodded back as if agreeing the sky was indeed blue. "I would say so… now, about your role in the sudden disappearance of my best friend…?"

With a loud yelp, George fumbled in a pocket with a shaking hand and tossed a small blue sphere to the ground several feet away; the resulting explosion of blue sparks nearly blinding everyone within a ten metre radius. But when the light blue smoke finally cleared, Ron was lying on the grass, a half-dazed and half-aware expression on his face… which cleared to become pure accusation as he sprang up, pointing a finger at George with one hand and reaching for his wand with the other.

"YOU! What the Bloody Hell was that all abou- AH! What are you two doing, I'm trying to kill my brother here!" Ron fumed, feeling the anger dampen down as he was viciously hugged by both Harry and Hermione, and was perplexed to see George gently stroking a newt that he kept referring to as 'Fred'. "Uh, is that-…?"

"Oh, yes, well…I got a little carried away, I should probably…" Hermione muttered, flushing and turning to go and return his brother to his natural state, leaving Ron and Harry to awkwardly man-hug for a second before stepping apart. "So, what were you doing in there? The ball, I mean…" came the question, and to be honest, he had no real answer for it.

"Actually, that's what I'd like to know… Well?" he rounded on George and the wide-eyed Fred sprawled on the grass, George started to laugh. Fred took over, "Well, you see… it was on the holidays…and we went to Lee's place –Lee Jordan, you know- and his parents have a Television, like to keep up on all the new-fangled Muggle inventions…and there was this cartoon."

He paused, most likely realising that any and all explanations for their action were probably going to sound ridiculous to anyone with a brain, but persevered anyway. "So… this show has the basic idea of catching wild animals with magical powers, training them and then making them fight each other… and George bet me I couldn't make one of the capturing devices. I told him he was on, but only if he managed to make Ron and Draco fight each other…"

He toted another sphere, green this time, with something obviously in it.

"Let him go…" Hermione intoned, sounding scarily like Professor McGonagall in that moment; so much so Fred tossed the ball without thought, everyone managing to cover their eyes this time to avoid the green sparks, but it was not enough to stop Fred from yelling, "Weasel Malfoy, I choose you!"

To which Hermione's eyes opened wider than ever before as the connection was made in her mind; everyone coughed and waved away light green smoke to reveal a stunned looking Draco on the grass, glaring at the Weasley Twins.

"My Father shall hear of this!" he said, standing upright to stalk off, only to fall over again in a rather awkward manner… Hermione went to fetch him, as he rolled down a hill, complaining how this never happened at _PigFarts_… whatever that was.

Ron was livid, but Harry spoke first, "So, let me get this straight… you were going to make little balls to keep students –including your own brother- in, and then smash them…forcing the two chosen students to fight each other for your amusement…all to win a few Galleons?"

Fred frowned, "Well when you say it like that, it sounds pretty awful…"

"Yeah," George shrugged, "it sounded way better when they explained it on _Pokemon_…"

Ron resolved to never let his brothers near a television ever again.

~)0(~

**ORIGINAL QUOTE:**

**"I'll Save You, As I Could Not Myself" -Erza Scarlet, Fairy Tail**

**.**

**POTTERFIED:**

"I'll Save You, if it's the last thing I do…I swear this to you, Harry. Trust me…" he whispered into my ear, and yet, my heart grew heavy as he turned away to take on the Death Eater across the large, dark room. I was alone, surrounded by friends fighting for their lives and mine… but I was alone in this decision… anyone who fell here, today, would bathe my hands in blood.

Harry Potter, Chosen One…and murderer.

I don't know exactly how it happened, but I remember screaming as my would-be protector and Godfather's eyes widened in a strangely comical moment where the world slowed, and fell back through the veil that hung in the archway we had all danced around in this macabre game of life and death. Bellatrix's face was pure delight, for Sirius's death was also on her hands…

But she enjoyed the sensation, I only wished to be sick.

My fault… I could practically FEEL his blood running off my hands… heart pounding furiously as I struggled in Lupin's arms to try and get free, to tear her heart out as she screamed… but the anger flew away as I realised that was not me.

As the Death Eaters fled, one thought plagued my every thought… it had been the last thing he had ever done, and I was safe… but at what cost…Sirius?

At What Cost.

Harry Potter, Chosen One, and Murderer.

I could never wash this clean.

~)0(~

**ORIGINAL QUOTE:**

**"Believe Not In You Who Believes In Me, Not In Me Who Believes In You, But You Who Believes In You" -Kamina, Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann**

**.**

**POTTERFIED:**

"Harry, it is not my place to tell you how best to run your life…but you must remember one important thing if you are to succeed in this war against Voldemort. It is not for you to worry after who else believes in your story, for I believe in you…but that does not matter, it is YOU who must believe in yourself for this battle to be won. Remember that. And always remember your friends, Mister Weasley and Miss Granger, believe in you too…" Dumbledore smiled, light catching and sparkling off the half-moon glasses as he peered at Harry as he whispered, "_and that is the secret, my boy. For Voldemort will never understand it, thus making it your greatest strength. Believe in yourself, and in your friends, and he will be defeated before the first wand is drawn."_

And the Headmaster was gone, leaving Harry lying alone in the Infirmary bed, a slight frown on his face, but a golden glow in his heart as the twin heads of Ron and Hermione appeared in the doorway. "Harry!" they cried, "We knew you could do it!"

Suddenly, he began to laugh.

~)0(~

**ORIGINAL QUOTE:**

**A day without Laughter is a day wasted -Charlie Chaplin**

**.**

**POTTERFIED:**

The horrified look on Ron's face was priceless, "But…but- BUT! A day without fried chicken is… well, it's not bloody worth living, is it?" he practically yelled across the table at his House mates. Seamus was avidly trying to change his bacon into said fried meat to appease Ron, who had been ranting about the chicken-less situation for the last ten minutes, much of the raving included much flailing of arms that had nearly overturned his Pumpkin Juice on several occasions.

Hermione had given up trying to explain that the House Elves had merely run out of chicken and therefore couldn't make what he was loudly demanding, Harry gave up trying to tell Ron he was acting like an idiot and joined it, for the hell of it; Neville was slowly sinking under the table and pretending he wasn't really apart of this madness.

Professor McGonagall looked to be at the end of her tether at the teachers table, but Professor Dumbledore seemed exceptionally amused by the situation, and was grinning over his half-moon spectacles.

They realised things had gone too far when there was a loud explosion, given that Seamus's magical experiment had gone largely unnoticed… and the resulting hole in the table was emitting green sparks and purple smoke… Neville had had enough, getting out from under the table, he announced, "Gentlemen, I wash my hands of this weirdness!" and strode off…

At which point they realised they'd pushed McGonagall too far also, for she stunned the lot of them in one fell swoop. Which left Professor Snape laughing like a madman as Madam Pomfrey rushed in and threw the Head of Gryffindor the evil eye…

Dumbledore reportedly awarded fifty points to Gryffindor…

~)0(~

**ORIGINAL QUOTE:**

**"It's Not A Crime! Caring About Your Friends Is Not A Crime!"**

**-Lucy Heartfilia, Fairy Tail**

**.**

**POTTERFIED:**

"_Being born with Magic Is _**Not**_ A Crime! Caring About Your Friends Is _**Not** _A Crime! Having Your Parents Murdered By A Raving Noseless Lunatic is _**NOT **_a Crime! What is, is that you dare to show your large, flabby, DISGUSTING body out in public…not to mention your face! Hah! How does Aunt Petunia even _stand _you_?" Harry yelled, arms high in the air, secure in the knowledge that the fat man he had pinned to the ceiling was neither going anywhere, nor able to do anything to harm him.

There was a clatter by the door as a cup shattered on the titles of the Kitchen, Petunia managed to whip out of sight instantly, but Dudley was not quite so lucky; his magically-imbued and pissed-off cousin _turned_ on him, faster than a starving wolf on a fresh kill. "_And _YOU, _you fat, piggy little bastard! Do you know how many years I spent in your shadow? DO YOU?"_ Harry was fair seething at this point, chest heaving as his emotion-filled magic hurled the chubby teen into a nearby armchair and pinned him there.

Unable to move, the boy shrank back, as if to become one with the upholstery, as his cousin loomed over the top of him. "_All your old clothing worn to threads, your old broken toys…hell, I even had to eat your scraps some days! And did you care to leave me anything nice? No… Dudley had to go and shove his face with seconds and thirds, practically licking the bowl until it sparkled. I loathe you…no, there isn't a word strong enough! But here's a little secret…_" he leant in, close enough for his hot breath to ghost over Dudley's short hair and whisper into the ear of the quivering mass of former-bully.

"All those years you tormented me? _I could have killed you…but I chose not to. When the Dementors attacked? I could have let them steal your soul… but I chose not to, I chose to fight them… nearly lost my wand because of it… and you know why? Because I'm better than you._ I could never stand to see even you suffer… but your father, now he's an entirely different matter." Beamed the media-darling of the Wizarding World, whirling about and focusing hard enough to let the fat man drop… straight from the ceiling onto his face…

Vernon Dursley, unaccustomed to being the victim lay stunned for a few seconds before appearing to puff up, face turning red in anticipation of the tongue lashing that was building up inside him; waiting to intimidate and cow this rebellious little _freak_… but it died upon his lips as his nephew strode across the room with a demented smile on his face. Head tilted to one side like a twisted doll, one arm raised high with a wand pointed at his heart…

It was only then he realised his folly, the truth was terrible as it was revealed; all his taunting, his tormenting, had taken its toll…and Harry had finally snapped.

As the blaze of green fire engulfed him completely, Vernon Dursley finally realised…he'd been Wrong… And Dudley screamed for his father before Harry rounded on him…

~)0(~

**ORIGINAL QUOTE:**

**"What's The Point Of Magic To Being With If I Can't Use It To Protect My Friends?" -Lucy Heartfilia, Fairy Tail**

**.**

**POTTERFIED:**

"What exactly is the point of Magic if we cannot use it to defend ourselves?" he shot at the garishly-dressed woman across the room, looking like a Barbie doll that had aged a few too many years and put on a spare tyre or two in that time. The fluro-pink wearing abomination…

"Why of course you can defend yourself, silly boy, but why would you need to? We are safe here at Hogwarts, and the Ministry is here to protect all you wonderful students…" the woman tittered, her voice like iron encased in silk. Harry knew he treaded a thin line already, but he pushed harder, "Well the Ministry did nothing but stand by while Voldemort returned, didn't they? What are they planning to do with him if he does attack? Throw pillows? Group hug therapy?" Harry paused for breath, noticing Hermione was throwing a decidedly desperate '_Don't do it!'_ look at him, but he smirked. Ron nodded approvingly.

"Or perhaps… you'll make him wear that hideous outfit, Professor… but I'm rather sure the Ministry doesn't condone THAT kind of torture. You must have done something pretty terrible to get that kind of punishment."

Hermione passed out, falling off her chair and into Draco Malfoy, who forgot to look disgusted, and just held her as the remainder of the class sucked in a breath in unison…

Umbridge shook with rage, tightly-clipped words issued forth with deadly calm, "Mr Potter… kindly remove yourself from my classroom… You have lost both five points for Gryffindor, and I will see you in Detention tonight at eight o'clock. OUT." She pointed for emphasis.

Without missing a beat Ron jumped up from his seat and whirled on Umbridge, practically giving her whiplash off his next insult, "While we're on the subject, Professor, can I ask what exactly happened to your face?" Umbridge's mouth parted slightly, jaw working up and down a little until the voice came out, "I… I do not know what you could possibly mean, Mr Weasley, please sit down or I shall be forced to send you out with Mr Potter."

Ron stayed standing. "It's just that, well, I heard you were half-Troll and _I thought_ it was just another stupid rumour… but then I saw your face and I was wondering if it might be tru-…"

"**OUT. OUT. OUT. OUT. OUT**!" shrieked Umbridge, composure long-since lost. She was a painfully blotchy red in the face, shaking with anger and actively vibrating with the restraint required to not strangle him. Ron smirked and strolled out of the room, hands in pockets, unconcerned. "Another five points from Gryffindor! Detention, both of you! Now get out of my sight!" she yelled after him.

Hermione, who had only just come around seconds before his insult, had fainted again in sheer horror that someone could say something like that to a teacher… not that Draco was complaining exactly…

Ron strode out the doorway and went down the corridor to where Harry was leaning against the wall, "So, is she really mad?" the Chosen One asked, green eyes dancing with excitement.

"I thought she was going to use the Killing curse on me in there… Fred was right, she's nuts! Nice job stirring her up, though…" he said, high-fiving Harry, who frowned. "Fred? But I thought George said it?" Ron rolled his eyes, "Can't you tell those two apart? Blimey Harry, you must need glasses or something, they're completely different!"

The pair burst into a fit of laughter that echoed down the hallway, slowly subsiding to a residual, comforting silence… Ron broke the quiet. "So, wanna go tickle the Giant Squid…?"

Harry laughed, "Thought you'd never ask…"

After all, Umbridge only said they _had _Detention at eight tonight… she never said they had to _be there…_

**~)0(~**

**ORIGINAL QUOTE: **

**"It Is Always Sad To Part With Those Whom You Love But Your Companions Will Help You Bear That Sadness" -Erza Scarlet, Fairy Tail**

**.**

**POTTERFIED:**

The comforting aged hand touched his chubby cheek gently, knowingly… "Ah, Neville… it is always a sad time when one must be parted from those you love, those who loved you so… but I can tell you your parents were some of the brightest, most energetic students I had ever taught when I knew them…

And someday, when you once again rejoin the world of your birthright, you will understand the power of that love… but at that time I sense you will have great friends and companions to help you through this grief. Given time, you can be the Greatest of them all…" he chuckled gently in his throat, "Ah, but what am I saying? You do not understand a word I utter, do you Neville?"

The baby with the lightning bolt scar burbled in his arms, content to simply go back to sleep despite the horror he had witnessed hours earlier; well, the boy would be the Order's concern now… They would raise him right, as his parent's would have wanted.

Quietly, it burned the aged Professor to know they had been so close to thwarting Voldemort's plans, but the Dark Lord had been unpredictable… Changing from the believed target of the well-guarded Potters and their infant son, Harry, to attack and murder the Longbottoms that fateful night only hours past…

Well, Dumbledore surmised as Neville fell asleep with a tiny hand tangled in his snow white beard, history was being made before his eyes… but what path would it take? He got his answer a few seconds later…

The hope of the Wizarding World was asleep and, -if his olfactory senses were functioning properly-, had a dirty nappy… Dumbledore sighed quietly and passed the child to McGonagall at the very first opportunity.

**~)0(~**

**ORIGINAL QUOTE:**

"**Yeah… it needs to be about 20% Cooler"**

**.**

**POTTERFIED:**

"Ron, you know you are the _utterly platonic_ love of my life… but seriously, what are you wearing?" Harry said, having turned about to see the redhead slinking across the Dorm room, attempting to hide his _everything_ with the invisibility cloak.

"Uh… I'll show you if… if you promise not to laugh, right?" he muttered, toying with the edges of the cloak. Harry waved in a gesture of support, but still fell onto the nearest bed as a huge burst of laughter shot out of him, almost painfully…

"Oh, _oh Merlin_, Ron! I'd say it just needed a bit of magic to be 20% cooler… but to be honest I think it's more of a case of Incendio-ing the thing to make it 100% _less looking-like-your-great-grandfather-died-in-it_!" Harry wheezed out as Ron flushed as scarlet as his hair.

"Uh… he did…"

Harry shut up and started looking for his spare dress robes so fast the onlookers were all treated for whiplash…

~)0(~

**ORIGINAL QUOTE:**

**"Your mother was a hamster, and your father smelt of Elderberries!"- French sentry, Monty Python and the Holy Grail**

**.**

**POTTEFIED:**

"Hey MUDBLOOD!" came the familiarly smarmy voice of a certain Slytherin, her teeth ground together as she whirled about to confront him… today was NOT one of the good days and by Merlin, he was about to know about it.

"Draco, shut it. You know what? Yes… my parents are Muggles, I am indeed a Muggle-BORN… what of it? Your mother is a House-Elf fancier and if your father hasn't been screwing around with Professor Snape in the Potions dungeons, then I don't want to know what the creepy noises coming out of there at '_Parent-teacher Conference Night_' are…"

With that, she turned on her heel and strode away.

**~)0(~**

**ORIGINAL QUOTE:**

**In their tongue, he is Dovahkin... DRAGONBORN! "FUS ROH DA!"**

**- Skyrim**

**.**

**POTTERFIED:**

"In their tongue, he is Weasley… KING! _**CAUGHT THE BALL**_!"

~)0(~

**ORIGINAL QUOTE:**

"**Am I missing an eyebrow?"- Adam Savige, Mythbusters**

**.**

**POTTERFIED:**

A silence seemed to linger in the wake of the gigantic explosion, shattered furniture raining down on those who didn't immediately shield themselves… One scorched, sooty face turned to the person closest, Neville Longbottom and asked quietly, "Nev… am I… missing an eyebrow?"

With the most sincere expression, Neville did not so much answer as lick both thumbs, reach out and quickly douse the two flaming arches… then stood back and stared, discerningly… "Well, yes and no… You are missing an eyebrow, …but on both sides…"

Seamus swore… and Flitwick offered forty House points to whomever could get him off the iron light fixture… but, as Seamus pointed out later, 'He never said I _couldn't_ accidentally set him on fire…'

~)0(~

**ORIGINAL QUOTE:**

"**Holmes, how many times are you going to kill my dog?" **

**-Dr. Watson, 'Sherlock Holmes: Game of Shadows'**

**.**

**POTERFIED:**

"_Hermione_! Exactly 'ow many times are you going to kill my dreams?" Ron whined sadly, as his bushy-haired friend pointed out that, in order to actually meet his long-time Quidditch Hero (and _not so secret_ Man-Crush) Bulgarian Seeker, Viktor Krum… he'd probably need to fight his way past the dozen or so Aurors in his security detail for the long-dreamed-of hug. She rolled her eyes, "Honestly, Ron… sometimes you need to just stop and use your brain for once!"

She dropped her quill and flushed a brilliant scarlet as he muttered, "_Surely you've got enough brains for the both of us… that's why I fancy you, alright? You've got a good brain…_ Wha-? Hermione, what are you doin-… _mphhhh_!" he cried in alarm as the intellectual pounced, smothering his next words with her own lips.

~*~)0(~*~

For the next week, Harry found himself quite alarmed at the way whenever Hermione said something particularily smart… Ron would sigh dreamily and look like someone had struck him with a combination of _Confundus_ Charm and Love Potion…

Or –and this was particularily frightening for the Chosen One, but luckily a rare occurrence- when RON would say something particularly clever, and Harry had to duck as fast as possible to avoid being taken out (or caught in the 'crossfire', like the first few times) as the bushy-haired intellectual launched herself from wherever she was in the room to kiss the red-head.

There was no doubt about it, in Harry's mind… Obviously, Malfoy was behind this somehow… and Harry was going to kill him.

**~)0(~**

**ORIGINAL QUOTE:**

**"Sea Turtles, mate."**

**-Captain Jack Sparrow**

**.**

**POTTERFIED:**

"But Hagrid! How on earth did you get out of Azkaban alive?" Harry cried joyfully, hugging the Half-giant and nearly disappearing inside the bushy creation that was the older man's gigantic, sprawling beard of scraggly brown. Hagrid let out a deep, belly laugh that jiggled Harry about like jelly on a plate…

"Dementors, 'arry. Roped a few together, 'n flew 'em outta that 'orrible place… right enough." Hagrid responded, grinning –well, he_ assumed_ the half-giant was grinning, it was bloody hard to tell under all that hair. Ron, from his place across the hut in the giant armchair he was sharing with Hermione, frowned as he asked, "Roped with… what, Hagrid?"

The half-giant laughed a second time, "Why, with a rope I made out 'o me own back hair, 'o course!"

There were three distinct thuds as the Third Years hit the ground in a dead faint.

~)0(~

**ORIGINAL QUOTE:**

**"I See You…"**

**-Jake Sully, AVATAR**

**.**

**POTTERFIED:**

Familiar hands traced gently over his face, and he allowed weary eyes to close, trying to sense… to feel …to _see_ what it was the other saw within his own mind's eye.

The Sword of Gryffindor slackened in his grip, clattering to the abandoned flagstones in the aftermath of battle… the wind brushed the last remnants of Voldemort high above them, far into the grey skies.

The flagstones were covered in rubble, abandoned but for them alone… the remaining survivors had borne bodies inside moments ago and were just now letting their relieved grief flow, wails rose in high keening from the mostly-destroyed castle and into the coming night. Although it seemed a sphere of silence was laid about the both of them, one sitting down in defeated weariness, the other, barely standing but leaning into the touch of human contact from the other.

"I wish I had seen it, you know…" whispered that other, sadly. Fingers danced over his forehead, smoothing away the lines of fatigue, fear and anger accrued in recent hours of battle. Neville hushed the other, "No, it's not your fault, you were with…" he paused with a wince, "… _the others_, I understand. I _really_, really do, it's just… I never thought… they could die."

The very word set his teeth on edge, a shiver to course through his spine… but for whatever he felt, he was certain that the other felt so much worse… It showed in the voice, thick with emotion, that ground out, "But they _did_. They're _gone_… gone to a place I can't follow, _heh_, and it seems that I am left alone _again_…"

Neville's heart constricted painfully for his friend. The battle had been terrifyingly short and brutal… so many had fallen… _friend, family, comrade_… but worst of all, the greatest casualty of all had been their_ hope_. The Golden Trio had fallen to an ambush as they raced to protect some trapped First and Second Years… _That _had been the one horrifying moment that had seemed to stretch into eternity, permanently burned into the minds of all who saw it…

Death Eaters led by the joint forces of Lucius Malfoy and -_that bitch_- Bellatrix Lestrange, had come striding across the courtyard towards the Trio. Laughter high and cold, echoing, drew their attention away from throwing hexes, curses, jinxes and the odd swear word towards Fenrir Greyback; whose slavering lupine brethren were threatening the younger students. Harry had turned first, green eyes wide behind the cracked frames of his somewhat bent black-rimmed glasses. His shouted warning was not quick enough…

For even as Hermione and Ron had whirled about, shielding charms flaring upwards and outwards from the tips of three separate wands… a dozen voices had screamed out in unison, "INCENDIO!" hurling flames towards the trio. An inferno swirled around the scene, somehow obscuring the events… but the results had been fairly obvious once the flames had cleared…

"I know what you're thinking, it's all over your face… I can feel it." said the voice that shocked Neville out of the recent memory; he jerked back and out of reach, eliciting a gasp from the other… whose fingers reflexively grasped out for the contact of another human being. Neville quickly moved back to his previous position, allowing the searching fingers to relax upon the skin of his grime-covered face, where the trembling stopped. Contact restored.

"I know you didn't see what happened next, but if you must know, it was…_awful_… and I'll never forget it, not a week from now, not a thousand years from now, it was probably the last thing I'll ever see." There was a high pitched laugh, strangled by a sob mere seconds later, as the emotion-thick voice rose to maniacal levels, "You could almost say the image was _burned into my brain_…" The sobbing laugh became a saddened wheeze, then a cough, and the fingers withdrew so the owner could curl themselves into a protective ball.

Lost for exactly what to do, Neville reached out and patted the other awkwardly on the closest shoulder, "I'm sorry I couldn't reach you in time… Voldemort kind of got in the way…" he whispered softly. An unsure hand waved in the wrong direction initially, then knocked his hand away… "Don't be stupid, you just saved the entire planet by killing _He-Who-Had-A-Snake-Fetish_. Even if you had somehow made it in time, you'd most likely be dead right now…and the world would have been rather screwed."

Neville leant in close to hear as the other spoke again in a soft, hollow voice, "With the incendiary curses shooting towards us, there was barely enough time to get any kind of defence up… the flames scorched through the gaps in our incomplete shield charms as they valiantly attempted to form and solidify against the heat. I… I heard Hermione scream, it was… it was just…" a shaking hand grabbed his wrist, squeezing like Neville was an anchor in the middle of a nightmarish memory. "Sh- she screamed so loudly as her hair caught fire… destroyed her concentration, the shield collapsed completely. I-… I got distracted too, when my best friend was screaming for his life, _for my help_, from behind me… but I couldn't move, I couldn't save Hermione… and I couldn't save him. I know I was screaming, the air was so full of the crackling of flames, and the lingering screams of the dead and dying… my wand nearly fell from my hand."

He was breathing harshly by now, and Neville found himself surreptitiously glancing around for Madam Pomfrey… before remembering she had been one of the first teachers to die under the Carrows' fire. With a start, he realised the other was gathering the courage to say the next words…

"It was in that split-second, _when I saw my two best friends in this entire goddamn world die_… that my concentration slipped, just for a second… and this one tendril of flame, white-hot and crackling, came through this little hole in my shield. I panicked, the shield faltered and the tendril kind of… snatched at me… like _fiendfyre_; the last thing I remember seeing was the horrified face of my best friend, burning alive, as the tendril struck me across the face. It just kept burning, and I think the screaming was coming from me… before it all went black." Trembling hands raised to their own face, touching the sad-looking burn… "Thought I was still unconscious when I woke, heard you make your speech though, it was all dark… but then I realised, it wasn't the world that was dark… just _my_ world. My eyes… magic can't fix this, I know that… because magic CAUSED the injury. I've already lost my family, now my two best friends… and I know it's selfish of me to think this way but, I just kind of wished I didn't look like…" The hands waved towards his face for emphasis, "…such a freak. Well, I assume from what I can feel it's freakish… not like I can bloody see it to tell or judge!"

Neville knelt, doing his best not to let his legs collapse completely as they had wanted to the second the adrenaline left, stretching out a hand to carefully tilt the other's face to the waning light for a better look… "Heh, don't be silly, it doesn't look that bad to be honest… just a bit red and heroic looking…"

A hand covered his own, "Well, at least now that I'm… I'm-… _blind_, I won't have to look at their pictures, the smiling faces hanging on a wall and reminding me of those I'll never see again… _how can they _all _be dead_?" Ron asked in a very small voice, sightless eyes turning to meet his own. Chewing his lip, Neville agonised over how best to answer… he'd personally witnessed the deaths of Fred, George and Ginny Weasley at the hands of Bellatrix Lestrange; right before Mr and Mrs Weasley and their three eldest sons had met an unfortunate end in battle with the various supernatural creatures in Voldemort's employ. "Ron, if it's any consolation… they all died so quick, they probably _still _haven't realised they're dead yet… but Harry and Hermione… I'm so sorry, they were my friends too…"

Hands clenched in the dirty woollen fabric of his unusually patterned jumper, tight and unforgiving was the grip, "I can't say it's alright, because it isn't! Everything is so WRONG right now! My best friends are gone, my entire family is dead, _and-_… and I'm not even sure I can_ cry _anymore, looking like this!" Again the dull blue eyes were highlighted by a vague gesture in their direction that was obviously meant to be taken as a point to the sightless orbs; the areas around the eyes themselves seemed slightly burned… but otherwise intact.

Neville was looking on with scrutiny, suddenly finding himself to be smiling slightly… "I think I can answer that one for you… you already are, Ron…See?" he stretched out a hand and gently brushed away a lone tear with his thumb, exceptionally carefully. "Besides, the scar just makes you look more appealing-… uh, _daring_, or whatever it was the Hat said Gryffindors should look like…" his tone conveyed the lop-sided smile that Ron could not see.

There was an instinctive blink of surprise, then a wince at the action. "You find me appealing?" Ron asked in a very innocent _I'm-the-Twins'-Brother-and-will-be-milking-this-for-all-it's-worth_ manner, while Neville flushed scarlet. "Oh, I, uh… well you see…" he responded, flustered beyond belief.

Ron started to laugh, a weak sound in the decimation, but a welcome one. "No, actually, I don't." he threw back, laughing softly at the ridiculous pun. "Oh, I wish I could see your face right now! Cheeks flushed as pink as a freshly-spanked newborn's backside… eyes as round as saucers and an expression of horror… Hah ha hah!" Neville spluttered, "Baby's backside? Are you calling me ugly?" Ron laughed harder, then stopped quickly. "Your voice… you sound… _embarrassed_, not horrified… How long has it been?"

Deciding to screw his courage to the sticking place, Neville went for it… One of his hands rested gently on the redhead's face, "First of all, _screw_ your sudden super-senses for working out my little secret, and second… since second year; you really have no idea how beautiful you are… clever, funny, loyal… a Gryffindor. The only reason I didn't say anything until now was because… I, uh… _thoughtyouwerewithHarry_…"

Ron seemed unsure as to whether to laugh or cry, spluttering, "_Harry, really_? Neville, I can feel you blushing from back here and… Neville, you know I can't see anymore, don't you? Blind. As in B-L-I-N-D… _not of the seeing-ness_, and despite how horrible today has been, how many we've lost and how much I don't want to make this all about me… I look, uh, _feel_… well, rather like a freak. So _unless Hermione comes up with some super-rare magic object that Harry and I have to bust from the Ministry to fix my eyes, I suppose_-…Oh."

"You're still the Ron I love, you _idiotically self-righteous insanely reckless _ginger… and the next time you mention feeling like a freak, I shall have to do something that will _definitely_ permanently mentally scar whoever happens to see it… I can see you, Ron Weasley, for who and what you are…and that is enough for me." Neville stated with a deep-seated conviction born of his new ability to approach those he rather fancied… personally he blamed the Sword of Gryffindor. All this excess bravery was pumping through his system with every rapid pulse of his heart…

With fingers outstretched, Ron's questing hands made contact with Neville's face, dancing over the features again to read the expression there… to sense what the other was feeling; what he read there was a radiant smile full of hope, love, and a small fear of rejection…

With a gasp, Ron smiled and a fresh tear slid down one cheek as his soft voice whispered ecstatically, "_I… I see you, Neville…_ I don't know how, but I do… and don't be afraid, I'll never reject you… not in a million years." Their lips had almost met–awkwardly on Ron's part, as he nearly got Neville's left eyelid- when there came a shriek of horror behind them, Neville sighed and begged pardon, "Excuse me a moment…"

He tossed a curse over his shoulder, striking Bellatrix Lestrange dead in the centre of her forehead… she went down like a tonne of bricks to his obvious satisfaction. "You got the bitch?" Ron said, more a statement than a question, voice awed, pleased and full of a sudden arousal that was rather disturbing given the circumstances. Neville turned back to focus on the redhead, "Of course… she got what she deserved. Now… where were we…? Oh yeah… right about… _here._"

As their lips finally met in the middle of all this devastation, there came a scintillating cry… "Mr Longbottom, Mr Weasley… that will be 5 points each from Gryffindor for fraternisation…" They broke apart, and Ron's hands immediately jumped to Neville's face before cautioning, "Nev! You can't hex Professor McGonagall…"

Neville sighed, sometimes… Ron really could _see right through him_…

**~)0(~**

* * *

><p><strong>The End.<strong>

**I do hope you liked it, and yes... I rather like the idea of a Ron/Neville pairing, so I made the final one about them... **

**If anyone's good at fanart, making that last R/N quote/story into a picture, drawing or something Deviant(**Art -See what I did There?**)... would totally put you in the position to have me write a story for you... **

**On the other hand, thank you for reading... please REVIEW.**

**~*SailorSilvanesti/Phoenix Fire*~**


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